So, think about it, what parts of your life, the way it is right now, do you love? If you are like some people I have talked to recently, the initial response is "Very little". If, after some consideration, that is still your response, perhaps it is time to look at what you can or should do differently.
In recent posts, I have written about your life wheel and its various spokes. If you have read those, perhaps you have already begun to identify which of your spokes needs some adjusting. If not, you may wish to go back and read those posts. Once you have identified the spokes that are lacking, or out of balance, you may want to begin thinking about what is actually wrong or missing from that part of your life. For example, if it is the Physical aspect, perhaps you actually need to get off the couch and start that exercise regimen you had talked about or remove some of the tempting sweets from your kitchen cabinets. Perhaps you need to reconnect with your spirituality or find ways to add joy to your life. Only you can determine which part(s) of your life wheel need some improvement(s).
Then you would begin to determine what you could or should be doing differently to make that part of your life more to your liking. The more details you can add to that plan, the better. Your plan should include not only the how, but the when you will do whatever steps you develop. Try to be specific in both pieces - the more details you can include, the more likely you will know how to proceed and will recognize when you have attained what you were seeking. Does your plan require the input or cooperation of someone else in order to succeed? If so, also figure out how you can most likely get their 'buy in'. Or consider if there is a way to succeed without their involvement, if necessary.
Also, try to use words or phrases that can be quantified in some way. Indicating that you want to be 'happy' is hard to measure. However, indicating that you need to laugh, at least once each day, that is measurable. Some people find that it helps to make signs regarding their new plan and post them around the house - in plain sight. That way they are reminded of their goals frequently. Some people just write them in their appointment book or journal so when they look at what they have planned for the day, or did for the day, they can determine if they are moving in the right direction or need to work at it a bit more. There is at least one song with lyrics - 'you've only got one life to live..." I encourage you to make the most of what you have.
Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, planning for retirement, coping with a job loss, planning to re-enter the work force or college, non-retirement planning, and other life transitions. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone. Ms. Davis is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor (L/WC) by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/.
To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Your Life Wheel (part 4)
Although I have talked about each spoke on your life wheel independently, there are many activities that help you tend to more than one spoke at a time. Volunteer activities, for example, could help fill an occupational interest, but certainly could also address social, emotional, intellectual, physical, and/or spiritual concerns. Volunteering could be formal, as in working through an agency/organization or could be informal such as assisting a neighbor or someone in your church, family, school, etc. Journaling is another example of an activity that can fill multiple needs or interests. One other piece that I have not addressed directly is making time to play. Laughing and having fun can also have an immediate impact, potentially, on all six spokes of your life wheel. I believe that life is too short to spend it so seriously all the time. No matter what your age, you still need to have some fun and play. It could be sports, but it shouldn't be highly competitive, as that tends to take the fun out of it. It could be reading or watching something funny, talking to an upbeat friend, even writing about some fun times you've had will likely bring a smile to your face. Smiling and laughing can have an almost immediate impact on our feelings and emotional well-being. Being positive, keeping positive thoughts instead of dwelling on negative things, also add to your mental and physical health. It is important that you take care of you and do what you can to keep your life wheel in good shape. Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including job search or career change, retirement planning, coping with loss of job, planning to return to work or college, non-retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She meets individuals in person and via telephone. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor (L/WC) by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Your Life Wheel (part 3)
I have touched upon five of the six spokes on your life wheel and this post will address the occupational side of your wheel. For many people, the occupational spoke on their life wheel is, by far, the largest. Obviously, this encompasses your work and your career plans. For some, it is such a large part of their lives that there is no room to fill the other spokes, and that is not good for your overall well being. Although we pay a lot of attention to this spoke when we launch or are thrown into a job search, often we don't tend to this spoke otherwise. But I encourage you, if you have not already done so, to spend some time thinking about your work and your career plans. Do they fit together well, just somewhat, or not at all? How do your career plans fit in with your life goals and plans? If you don't have life goals and plans, that would be a good place to start. Think about what you want to accomplish/contribute to this world and develop plans to help you get there. I believe your goals and at least the basics of your plans should be written down somewhere. It seems to me that goals not written down (or recorded somewhere) are basically just dreams and it is hard to make a dream into a reality without some specific plans. So identify where you are and where you want to be, occupationally, and by when. If you don't know what your dreams or plans are, at this stage in life, you may want to spend some time thinking about that. I find that without any plans, or goals to work towards, days just seem to be less meaningful. Sort of on the other end of the spectrum are those folks who have retired and are at a loss because their occupational spoke is so small. That group also includes those who are not looking forward to retirement because work is such a major part of their lives. In my opinion, that is also not good for your overall well being. The key is to not to let work take over your entire life while you are working, so that you have time for other interests and activities to enjoy, not only while you are working, but certainly after you have quit working or reduce your work load. Look for the final post regarding your life wheel in the coming days. Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change and job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, non-retirement planning, and other life planning issues. She is certified a a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Mary Ann meets with individuals in person and at a distance via telephone. Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.
Your Life Wheel (part 2)
Not long ago, I posted part one of this topic. If you have not read it, you may wish to go back to January's entries and do so. Your life wheel is something that you should try to keep in balance, no matter what stage of life you are in. In today's typically hectic world, it can be more challenging to take care of yourself, but it is even more important to do so. In addition to the physical, spiritual, and social spokes I've already addressed, you should also attend to the emotional, intellectual, and occupational aspects of your life. Times of transition, like changes to your living arrangements, job changes, even changes to your routine, can add to your level of stress. As much as possible, you should attend to all six spokes on your life wheel on a regular basis to help keep it rolling smoothly. Some bumps in the road are probably unavoidable, while others are not. Maintaining your life wheel can help to smooth out your ride. The emotional spoke on the wheel encompasses your feelings, i.e. your emotions. That spoke may be the more obvious one to others. When the emotional spoke on your life wheel is out of balance, you may feel sad, blue, depressed, angry, or just plain out of sorts. If that is your situation, I encourage you to find ways to add joy to your life. That joy may come from involvement with family or friends, or maybe from inside you because of your contributions to community or others. Although frustration or agitation may come from living in today's world, yours should not be at a level that is visible to others, on a regular basis. It is important to pay attention to your feelings, particularly during times of transition, because they provide clues as to how well you are coping. Your emotions are signals about what you are feeling or experiencing. Some people find that writing about those feelings help 'get them off their chest', so to speak. Developing a plan for how you will cope with your transition can also take away some of the sting caused by uncertainty. Other times you may need a more active way of working through your feelings, for example, talking things out with someone else or some type of physical activity. When I was going through a particularly difficult time, I found that even punching a pillow helped relieve some of the tension. Talking it out, getting a hug, and/or laughing are also ways to help cope with some of your emotional bumps. The intellectual spoke on your wheel also need to be attended to on a regular basis. It doesn't matter whether you are working outside the home or from home or in the home, or what your work situation is, your mind still needs stimulation. Working jigsaw or crossword puzzles is one way to keep your mind active, as is learning something new, reading, etc. It can also be stimulated by writing or participating in other creative activities. Researching your family's genealogical history is another activity many people have found interesting and helpful. Writing in a journal can help not only your intellectual, but also the emotional spoke on your life wheel. The occupational spoke will be addressed in the next post. Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career and job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, non-retirement planning, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Brighten Your Corner
When I was a child, we sang a song that included "Brighten the corner where you are" in the lyrics. I was reminded of that song recently when someone suggested that the light within me was shining particularly brightly that day. Whether we choose to think of it or not, there is a light inside of us - that is the energy we express or share with the world. So my question is, do you brighten the corner where you are or is it a dimly lit place?
We can brighten our little corner of the world in many, many ways and not always through grand gestures. Have you noticed how the face of a stranger or a passer-by lights up when you speak to them in a joyful tone and ask about their day? Have you noticed how a young child laughs with glee when we pay attention to them? Or perhaps you have noticed how your day is brightened when someone unexpectedly asks about your day or offers to help you when you didn't ask for help.
We can quietly make a small difference for others by how we recognize or greet them. We can also let our light shine by assisting someone. Even having a young person open a door for me brings a smile to my face and, often a cheerful "Thanks" brings a smile to theirs. We can take that a step further by volunteering our time or energy to others. Again, it could be in fairly small bits or larger chunks.
The wonderful thing about brightening your corner of the world is that you end up feeling brighter too. So look for ways to brighten a corner wherever you are.
Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change or job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, non-retirement planning, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and at a distance, via telephone. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.
To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com
We can brighten our little corner of the world in many, many ways and not always through grand gestures. Have you noticed how the face of a stranger or a passer-by lights up when you speak to them in a joyful tone and ask about their day? Have you noticed how a young child laughs with glee when we pay attention to them? Or perhaps you have noticed how your day is brightened when someone unexpectedly asks about your day or offers to help you when you didn't ask for help.
We can quietly make a small difference for others by how we recognize or greet them. We can also let our light shine by assisting someone. Even having a young person open a door for me brings a smile to my face and, often a cheerful "Thanks" brings a smile to theirs. We can take that a step further by volunteering our time or energy to others. Again, it could be in fairly small bits or larger chunks.
The wonderful thing about brightening your corner of the world is that you end up feeling brighter too. So look for ways to brighten a corner wherever you are.
Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change or job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, non-retirement planning, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and at a distance, via telephone. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.
To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Your Life Wheel
From a counseling standpoint, I often help people look at their career direction to determine if there is a different direction they would like to go. Many of the people I have worked with decided they definitely needed to make a change in their work situation or to change careers totally.
But some of the individuals I have worked with decided their job/work is not the problem area in their lives, but something else that is troubling them. One approach I take with many of these clients is to look at their life wheel. There are six areas on a traditional life wheel: physical, spiritual, social, emotional, intellectual, as well as occupational. So many people focus so much of their lives on the occupation side of the wheel that they don't really nurture the other sides of their life wheel.
I'm sure you've read information or heard commercials encouraging people to be more active physically. Physical activity really can help improve your overall outlook, as well as your overall well being. It also helps improve your sleep habits, which is very important for your health. Of course, the physical side of your life wheel also includes healthy eating and getting a sufficient amount of sound, restful sleep. So, although the physical side of your life wheel is just one spoke, it encompasses several aspects that effect our well being.
The spiritual spoke on your life wheel could be addressed in a variety of ways. Certainly recognizing and tapping into your religious beliefs can be a source of strength and comfort. But additionally, reading, meditating, or appreciating nature are other ways that can help renew your strength and convictions. Remember or find out what is spiritually stimulating for you.
The social spoke on the wheel is sometimes neglected - particularly in times of transitions. Being with other people can be a boost to your system. Sometimes when we are between jobs or just entering retirement, we reduce our social contacts because we may feel awkward or somewhat out of place. True friends will understand - if given the opportunity to - whatever your situation. This is another instance where being with family is good, but you may also want to spend time with loved ones who are not so close to the situation.
We'll talk about the other spokes on the life wheel in another post.
Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career and job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, non-retirement planning, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services.
To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourcareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.
But some of the individuals I have worked with decided their job/work is not the problem area in their lives, but something else that is troubling them. One approach I take with many of these clients is to look at their life wheel. There are six areas on a traditional life wheel: physical, spiritual, social, emotional, intellectual, as well as occupational. So many people focus so much of their lives on the occupation side of the wheel that they don't really nurture the other sides of their life wheel.
I'm sure you've read information or heard commercials encouraging people to be more active physically. Physical activity really can help improve your overall outlook, as well as your overall well being. It also helps improve your sleep habits, which is very important for your health. Of course, the physical side of your life wheel also includes healthy eating and getting a sufficient amount of sound, restful sleep. So, although the physical side of your life wheel is just one spoke, it encompasses several aspects that effect our well being.
The spiritual spoke on your life wheel could be addressed in a variety of ways. Certainly recognizing and tapping into your religious beliefs can be a source of strength and comfort. But additionally, reading, meditating, or appreciating nature are other ways that can help renew your strength and convictions. Remember or find out what is spiritually stimulating for you.
The social spoke on the wheel is sometimes neglected - particularly in times of transitions. Being with other people can be a boost to your system. Sometimes when we are between jobs or just entering retirement, we reduce our social contacts because we may feel awkward or somewhat out of place. True friends will understand - if given the opportunity to - whatever your situation. This is another instance where being with family is good, but you may also want to spend time with loved ones who are not so close to the situation.
We'll talk about the other spokes on the life wheel in another post.
Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career and job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, non-retirement planning, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services.
To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourcareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Did You Return from Holiday Break Needing a Break?
I have heard several people say they were almost glad to get back to work following a 'crazy' or 'hectic' holiday break. It is very easy to get caught up in the frenzy of the season, and not take time for yourself.
If this describes your situation, I encourage you to spend a little time winding down now and plan to handle things differently next time. You probably need to carve 20 - 30 minutes out of your schedule to just sit and relax. This could be in your favorite chair or in a nice warm bath, etc. I know someone who sits in his car to get a few minutes of peace and quiet. By taking a few deep breaths, you should be able to slow your breathing and catch your breath.
Then spend a few minutes thinking about things that went well or moments you enjoyed or should have enjoyed at the time. This might include the look on someone's face as they opened a present, the quiet moments before you enjoyed a holiday dinner, the deep sigh as you kicked off your shoes after a long day, etc. Think about some of the reasons you have to be grateful for each day.
Then spend a few minutes thinking about things that you didn't get done or people you did not have a chance to connect/re-connect with. Are those things you could still do this winter? If so, how? If you know how, then you simply have to decide when. If not, then is it something that must wait until next November/December or could you plan for them for this spring or summer? Keep in mind, some moments are lost and others can be sort of reconstituted.
But whether your holidays were absolutely perfect, or not at all, I would encourage you to remember to do things to take care of yourself on a regular basis. Plan for and build in time in your schedule to do so. That should be more often than once a year - once a week would be good, but once a month is a start. After all, if you don't take care of you, who will?
Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a job change or job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, non-retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services.
To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.
If this describes your situation, I encourage you to spend a little time winding down now and plan to handle things differently next time. You probably need to carve 20 - 30 minutes out of your schedule to just sit and relax. This could be in your favorite chair or in a nice warm bath, etc. I know someone who sits in his car to get a few minutes of peace and quiet. By taking a few deep breaths, you should be able to slow your breathing and catch your breath.
Then spend a few minutes thinking about things that went well or moments you enjoyed or should have enjoyed at the time. This might include the look on someone's face as they opened a present, the quiet moments before you enjoyed a holiday dinner, the deep sigh as you kicked off your shoes after a long day, etc. Think about some of the reasons you have to be grateful for each day.
Then spend a few minutes thinking about things that you didn't get done or people you did not have a chance to connect/re-connect with. Are those things you could still do this winter? If so, how? If you know how, then you simply have to decide when. If not, then is it something that must wait until next November/December or could you plan for them for this spring or summer? Keep in mind, some moments are lost and others can be sort of reconstituted.
But whether your holidays were absolutely perfect, or not at all, I would encourage you to remember to do things to take care of yourself on a regular basis. Plan for and build in time in your schedule to do so. That should be more often than once a year - once a week would be good, but once a month is a start. After all, if you don't take care of you, who will?
Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a job change or job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, non-retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services.
To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.
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