What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

So, for those of you who know lyrics to songs, you may recognize that as a phrase from a holiday song from long ago. In that instance, it is a somewhat romantic song, that I think is very pretty. But my question has a little different purpose - what are you doing New Year's Eve in relation to your plans for you for 2012. Well, maybe you plan to create your traditional New Year's resolutions. Or maybe you just have a party on your agenda. Maybe you plan to watch whatever sporting events are on TV. The fact that New Year's Eve falls on a Saturday this year may change your approach to the day.


But whether you work on this on New Year's Eve or some other day - before or just after the beginning of the new year, I encourage you to think about what you plan to do for you and with your life during the exciting year of 2012. We may not know what to expect in terms of some predictions, but we can make the best of our days that we can. Think about what you would like to accomplish - and this might be at work or in your family or your other personal life. What happens to so many people is that we have ideas and sketches of plans in our heads, but in my opinion, until we get it down on paper, it is not really a plan. (Of course, that reference to paper, could also include a computer file, for those who have forgotten what it is like to write things on actual paper!)


So think about what you would like to accomplish, be it something small, medium sized or really big, and begin to develop some plans to make it happen. I really find that having things written out help me to think about what steps I actually need to take to bring the plans into reality. I think it also helps to identify some time frames for when you will complete each part of the plan and develop a system of checkpoints to increase the chances that things will happen in a timely manner.

Happy New Year!




Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, coping with a job loss, planning to return to work or to school, preparing for retirement or non-retirement, and other life changes. She has been working with adults in person and via telephone for over 25 years to assist them in finding solutions to their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

The World is Just Not the Same

I know, that is no big announcement. Anyone over the age of 10 probably realizes that the world is just not the same today as it was yesterday. And that applies if your yesterday was actually just 24 hours ago or if you think of it as 30 or 40 years ago. But the basic statement applies to our daily lives, our families and friends, and our ways of thinking about the world.

As we approach the end of yet another year, we may tend to think about what this particular year has brought and what it has meant. For many of us who are over the age of 30, this year flew by faster than any of the previous years - that is partly because time seems to do that as we continue to mature - and I think partly because we have managed to speed up our lives by taking away some of our own personal "down" time.

So many people these days are constantly "plugged in" which leaves no real time to yourself. That time when you can just sit with your thoughts and let them lead you wherever they will. Those quiet times when you can remember what your daydreams used to entail, when you had high hopes for your future. Without those times, we may lose track of our dreams or forget them entirely. Then when we are thinking about what we should be doing with our lives, we are often at a loss. We may have lost that ability to create something different from our own thoughts. We may have become afraid to think about what we would like to change or do differently in our lives.

If this applies to you, I suggest you unplug for a while - try it in small installments - maybe just 15 or 20 minutes at a time and spend some time with your thoughts. If this needs to be sitting in your bathroom or bedroom with the door locked, so be it. Spend some time thinking about how your life has developed and what, if anything, you would like to do differently. After you have done this for a few days, begin writing down the thoughts that come to you during your quiet time. After a while, you can begin to put together a list of those thoughts and determine which ones you are ready to develop into actual plans.

Find some time for you - time is still going to fly by too quickly, but maybe this way, when you carve out some quiet time next December, you will be able to smile about ways in which you have made changes or at least developed plans to do so. Best wishes.

Mary Ann Davis, M.A. is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Ohio providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, planning to return to work or to school, coping with a job loss, preparing for retirement, and other life changes. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assit them to find solutions to life transition issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444- x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

What Do You Want? (part 2)

Once you have narrowed down your list of things you would like to add in your life, I encourage you to find ways to create the life you want. I encourage my clients to develop plans to bring about the necessary change. Some of you may be more into planning than others, but I find it works well for most people.

Start by figuring our where you are now in relation to where you want to be in life. Are you just a few steps away from getting what you want, or will it be a long hill to climb? Only you can decide if the distance is within reach. If it is, then write out what you need to do to get you where you want to be. You may need to do some research on the topic, but through the Internet you can discover information about so many topics, that it is not as difficult these days as research used to be. So do some reading, if need be, and figure out what it will require.

Then think about how long you will allow to get where you want to be. Do you need to be there yesterday or will sometime in the next 18 months or 3 or 5 years suffice? What kind of time frame can you work with? Once you have that, you can begin to chart out what you need to do in smaller increments to get you where you want to be. Some people work best with a monthly planner. Each month they assign a task from their "To Do" list to move them closer to their goal. If you are working with a short time frame, you may need a weekly "To Do" list.

It helps many people to include as many details as possible in their plan so it is less likely they will miss a step. I also encourage you to include some check points in your plan - times when you will make a conscious effort to check on your progress. That tends to eliminate looking up in a few months or next year and finding that you started on your plan but somewhere along the line got derailed and it has been on the back burner ever since.

The other suggestion is that the items on your "To Do" lists should be things that are within your ability to do or to make happen. That way you are not dependent on someone else to help you get to where you want to go.

Life is short, I encourage you not to spend it wishing and hoping but planning and doing.

Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, planning to return to work or to school, preparing for non-retirement, and other life transitions. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist in developing solutions to their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

What do You Want?

In the last post, we talked about what your heart desires. This is a very similar line of thinking - what do you want? When was the last time you thought about that? What is it that YOU want? Is there something that you have wanted to do but have been too tired, too busy, too shy, too whatever, to try? Perhaps you feel that you are too young to do that, or too old or would look too silly. What is it that you would really want to do that you have not done?

I encourage you to give that some thought. It may help to sit in a quiet place where you can think and either talk out loud as you sort through those thoughts or where you can write down your thoughts. It helps some people to work with a blank sheet of paper and just start writing down - in your own short notes - what it is you would like to do. Don't censor your thoughts or not put something down because you don't know how to do it or think you would look silly doing it. Just write things down as they come to you. If you are more of a talker than a writer, then get a tape recorder and blank tape or whatever mechanism you could use to record your voice and go to a quiet place where you can be alone. Then begin to speak aloud the things you would like to do. Again, don't omit things because you would feel foolish if others knew it was on your list or because you wouldn't know where to begin to make it happen.

That first step is designed to help you bring thoughts or dreams - that you may have buried - up to the surface where you can recognize them. Once you have created a list of possibilities, then you can go through it and think about whether or not it is really something you would like to do or if it was a dream long ago, but no longer. Keep on your list only those things you would still want. Then go through the remaining items and figure out what you would need to do if you actually wanted to do each one. If you don't know what it would take, or where you could start, find someone to talk to about it. When you have some more information, then you can decide if it is a reasonable idea or something that is just a dream but you don't plan to make it a reality.

If it is something you do want, is now the time you will reward yourself and pursue it? If not now, when? Can you put a partial plan together before you put it on the shelf? That partial plan should include a time frame when you will revisit the idea to determine if that is the time to go for it. Find ways to create the life you want by including the things you would like to do in your life, in the near future.


Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, planning to return to college or to work, preparing for non-retirement, coping with job loss, and other life plans. Mary Ann meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist them to find solutions to life transition issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

What Did You Want in 2011?

Well, as hard as it may be to believe, we are almost three-quarters through this year. I know I often think of the old adage, "Time flies when you're having fun!" I think it also flies the longer you live. So if you have just looked up and realized another year is fast approaching, perhaps now is a good time to review what you wanted for 2011. If you are a person who wrote out New Years Resolutions, have you looked at them since you wrote them down? If you just made a list in your head, have you thought of what you wanted to do/achieve this year since those first few months moved along?

One of the things I encourage my clients to do when they develop a plan for change is to include some times for a checkup. Kind of like your car needs a 3,000 or 5,000 mile check-up, we could benefit from that as well. For one thing it gives us an opportunity to stop, sit down, and look at what we have accomplished so far. What has happened in these last four or five months? Are things going as planned? Did I even have a plan or is it now just a distant memory? Sometimes life deals us a hand that we did not anticipate and that throws all of our plans out the window. Other times we start on a plan and realize it really won't get us where we want to go or is a longer route than we need to take. So how is your plan?

Have you looked at it since you created it? If not, now is a good time to do so. If you have not been keeping to the plan or somehow gotten off track, there may still be time to get back on track. There is still time to accomplish some things in the last few months we have for this year, but it probably requires you to move into some form of action.

Again, figure out where you are headed and decide if that is still a reasonable and feasible goal. If so, what steps can you take to get back on track? If not, what goal can you put in place to work on? As we move into fall, fight the desire to sit back and just watch the leaves fall. Some activity that moves you in the right direction will feel better as we sit back this winter and reflect upon what we got done in 2011. It would be great to review the year in December and smile about actually accomplishing what you had hoped to during this year.

Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, planning for return to work or to school, coping with an empty nest, preparing for non-retirement, and other life planning issues. She works with individuals in person and via telephone assisting them to find solutions to life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit www.YourCareerPlan.com.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Is It Time to Check Your Progress?

If you set goals to achieve during 2011, if you have not done so lately, it may be time to check on your progress. Hopefully when you wrote your goals and objectives, you included some time lines. We are now just about half way through another year and, although I don't know about you, but for me, time is flying by. I still find it hard to believe that it will soon be July. I know that people say, the older you get, the faster time flies, and I guess they are right.





So, if you set goals for things you want to achieve this year and didn't set up time frames for your objectives, it is still not too late. Look at what you want to accomplish and figure out what it will take to do so. Hopefully, most of the steps are things you can/should do yourself. If not, consider whether or not you will have buy-in from others who may be involved in helping you reach your goals. If you have not already done so, write out the objectives you will need to do in order to meet the goals you set. Try to include, not only what you need to do, but how you may need to start, and a time for how long it should take or how soon you plan to complete the tasks.





If you included check points when you wrote out your goals and objectives, then this is just a reminder that if you have not checked your progress lately, you may need to do so now. After doing that, then you can determine if you can move your goal completion date up or if you need to allow a little more time to achieve it. Sometimes people realize that what they thought they wanted, is no longer appropriate. In that case, start over with the appropriate current goal. There is not shame in re-deciding, only in hanging on to a goal that you no longer want or need to achieve.





As some say, if you don't know where you are going, you won't know when you get there. Since time marches on anyway, you might as well plan for what you want and that should help to increase the likelihood that it will happen.





Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, coping with an empty nest or loss of job, planning for retirement or non-retirement, or preparing to return to work or school. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist them in developing solutions to their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/.





To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send and email to YOurCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Consider These Questions

If you are trying to make a change in your life, but unable to keep working at it, or even get started, I suggest you ask yourself two questions. The first is why do you want to make the change. The second question is how much do you want to make it. In many cases, the answers to these questions may seem obvious, but not always. Additionally, if you are dragging your feet on a change you say you want to make, there generally is some reason you are not at least trying to implement it.


So, for a moment, put your pride aside and really consider the change you say you want to make. The first question to ask yourself (why you want to make the change) actually should get at your motivation. Is it really something that you want or is it someone else's voice saying you "should" do it? It is hard to undertake a change in many cases, but if you are not motivated to do so, it becomes nearly impossible to achieve. If it is your own voice saying you want it, but there are disclaimers that go with it, or it is near the end of a long list of things you want, you may prefer to set it aside until it is more important to you.


In some cases, it is something you want, but not for the right reasons - it may be something you think you should want because other people want it or indicate you should want it. In those instances, you are probably not really motivated to make it happen either. Please understand, that is probably okay, but you may need to be able to convince yourself that it really is okay not to want something, even though, or just because, others do.


The second question (how badly do you want it) involves the level of commitment you currently have to making the change. Even if you are motivated to do something, if there is very little commitment, it is not likely that you will stay with it to bring it into reality. That's why we sometimes get stalled once we have gotten a project or plan underway. We run out of steam because we don't have sufficient commitment to keep us going.


So think about what are you willing to do, or willing to give up, to make the change you want? If there is not much commitment, there probably won't be much follow through. Sometimes we are better at follow through on our commitments to others than to ourselves. It may help to remember that you are as important as others and deserve the same treatment you afford to others.


Of course, sometimes it is also a matter of the change being something we want, but others don't. In those cases, others may, knowingly or not, put additional obstacles in your way that you were not able to plan for, but that derail the plans you had made. Although we frequently can anticipate potential obstacles from friends and/or loved ones, that is not always the case. Sometimes those closest to us have something to lose, or believe they do, if we make a change. Often those concerns come to light by having an open and honest discussion regarding your plans.

If the obstacles come from outside your close circle, then you need to review your situation to determine if the change you had planned can be rerouted to get around, under, over, or through the obstacle. Or is it something you need to discuss with those responsible for the obstacle(s) to see if you can get them removed. They may have knowledge with which you are not aware, but that impact your plans. They may have insights that could benefit you in re-evaluating your plans. In some instances, you may need to use or develop a Plan B.


Change is not often easy, but if it is something you want/need to do for your own well-being, it is worth considering why you have not been able to implement the change you seek.




Mary Ann Davis (M.A.) is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, planning for retirement or non-retirement, coping with a loss of job or empty nest, planning to return to work or school, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping to find solutions to problems related to life transitions. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor. Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services.


To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Be Enthusiastic

Not long ago, I heard someone say, "Enthusiasm is contagious, be a carrier!" I must admit I had not thought of it in quite those terms, but I certainly agree that enthusiasm is contagious and that is an instance where it is good to be a carrier. You have probably noticed situations where a group of people were talking and everyone was sort of low key or not engaged and when someone who was enthusiastic joined the group, everyone sort of perked up. That is an instance where the person who joined the group was a carrier - spreading enthusiasm and good feelings to others.

You have probably heard someone referred to as having an infectious smile or laugh, and generally others enjoy being around that person. It is because they are a carrier of positive vibes. I encourage you to be a positive influence on others, spreading cheer and good feelings.
Sharing a smile costs you nothing and can certainly brighten someone else's day. You never know when your smile can make all the difference in someone else's day - whether it is a person you know or not.

Also, it is harder to feel down and out yourself if you are smiling. Sometimes on those days when you are feeling out of sorts and would rather not smile, instead of giving in to those feelings, pretend that you are happy and feeling fine. It frequently can do wonders for your mental health, as well as your physical well being. I don't remember who said it, but someone said, "Fake it til you make it." That applies to changes you are trying to make as well as your day-to-day existence. Even when you aren't feeling up, fake it, and pretend that you do.

Undoubtedly, you have also noticed the opposite effect, and it doesn't even have to have been a group of people. If you are talking with a person who is sort of down, or maybe just not their usual self, it sort of makes you feel down, as well. Negativity and mediocrity are also contagious and I caution you not to be a carrier of those feelings. This applies to everyday interactions with others, as well as meetings and discussions that have some importance, such as networking discussions or employment interviews.

Perhaps each day you can decide that it is going to be a good day - sometimes even a great day - and put a smile on your face that you can share with others all day long. Be a carrier of enthusiasm!

Mary Ann Davis (M.A.) is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, planning for retirement or non-retirement, coping with an empty nest, loss of job, planning to return to school or work, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping them to find solutions to issues related to their transition. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association; a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association; and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor. Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Mary Ann Davis, M. A. is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, planning for retirement or non-retirement, returning to work or to school, and other life transitions. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping to find solutions to issues related to life planning. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association; a Life/work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association; and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/.









To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to mailto:YourCcareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

You Can Re-decide

Sometimes we stop, or are stopped, and look back over our lives and consider decisions we have made, directions we have gone. If you are fortunate, you are pleased with your decisions and their outcomes and satisfied with the direction your life has gone. If you are like many others, there are points where you made a decision that turned out not to be a wise one and it sent you off onto a dimly lit, unfamiliar path. If that applies to you, what I would encourage you to do is to re-decide; admit you made a poor choice and start again.

Often, we allow our thoughts and internal messages to control our actions. We dredge up thoughts like, "My father always said I wouldn't amount to anything." or "What were you thinking, you knew you're too old to do ____?!" Or maybe, "But people would think I've lost my mind if I ______." or "Mama warned me not to _______ but I wouldn't listen..." It is so easy to say to yourself, "I should have done ____, but now it is too late." It may be hard to do, but try to shut out those messages and focus on what is in your heart. Try asking yourself, "Is it really too late?"

Of course, in some cases, yes it may be too late, just don't assume that it is without considering the possibilities. But if it is something you still want, try to get clear on the real situation before you decide that. Listen to what your heart is saying and figure out how to make that happen. It may involve giving yourself permission to admit you were wrong. It may require you to take a few steps back and restructure your plan - or scrap it entirely and start over with a fresh approach to reach your goal. But it is important to remember that as long as you are still breathing, you have the capacity to decide differently and change your mind and your plans. You just need to give yourself permission to re-decide. Then if people question you, or just look at you like you may have lost your mind, you can simply look them in the eye and say, "Yeah, I really am going to try it this way!" But you will know that you are simply listening to your heart and that can be a very good thing, indeed!

Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change or job search, planning for retirement, loss of job, coping with an empty nest, preparing to return to work or school, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping them to find solutions to problems related to life transitions. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Be Kind to Yourself

When you are preparing for or coping with transitions in life, I caution you to be kind to yourself. So many times in the midst of turmoil or frustration we are harder on ourselves than anyone else would be. I caution you to be kind to yourself. I think this means you should only move forward as fast (or as slowly) as any part of you is able to move. Just because your mind is ready to take a leap, it doesn't mean your heart is ready for that kind of change. You must listen to your mind and your heart and your spirit as you plan changes for your life.

I think you should monitor your self talk - don't beat yourself up because things move more slowly than you had planned or because you get stuck part way through a transition. Also, try not to nag yourself if you are moving more slowly than you had hoped. The other thing I share with my clients is that sometimes what we think of as self-talk are actually tapes of others who criticized us earlier in life. If you find that you are being very critical of yourself, pay attention to whose voice you are hearing. It may be a remnant from your past that you are now able to put aside to listen to your true inner voice. Changes are difficult, whether they are voluntary or involuntary, so it is important to try to handle it as best you can, and know that you are doing what you need to do to take care of you.

If part of you is still feeling reluctant to make the change you had decided to make, consider why the hesitation. Is there something you have overlooked? Are the parameters of the decision somehow different than you thought they would be? Are other factors at play that were not known before? As things become clearer, or begin to fall into place, you will likely feel more comfortable and perhaps be able to move at a faster pace, but until you are OK with it, take care of and be kind to yourself. Realize that your hesitancy may well be founded in some truth you are not yet aware of.


Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change or job search, planning for retirement, loss of job, coping with an empty nest, preparing to return to work or school, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping to solve problems related to life transitions. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

What About My Life, Do I Love?

So, think about it, what parts of your life, the way it is right now, do you love? If you are like some people I have talked to recently, the initial response is "Very little". If, after some consideration, that is still your response, perhaps it is time to look at what you can or should do differently.


In recent posts, I have written about your life wheel and its various spokes. If you have read those, perhaps you have already begun to identify which of your spokes needs some adjusting. If not, you may wish to go back and read those posts. Once you have identified the spokes that are lacking, or out of balance, you may want to begin thinking about what is actually wrong or missing from that part of your life. For example, if it is the Physical aspect, perhaps you actually need to get off the couch and start that exercise regimen you had talked about or remove some of the tempting sweets from your kitchen cabinets. Perhaps you need to reconnect with your spirituality or find ways to add joy to your life. Only you can determine which part(s) of your life wheel need some improvement(s).


Then you would begin to determine what you could or should be doing differently to make that part of your life more to your liking. The more details you can add to that plan, the better. Your plan should include not only the how, but the when you will do whatever steps you develop. Try to be specific in both pieces - the more details you can include, the more likely you will know how to proceed and will recognize when you have attained what you were seeking. Does your plan require the input or cooperation of someone else in order to succeed? If so, also figure out how you can most likely get their 'buy in'. Or consider if there is a way to succeed without their involvement, if necessary.


Also, try to use words or phrases that can be quantified in some way. Indicating that you want to be 'happy' is hard to measure. However, indicating that you need to laugh, at least once each day, that is measurable. Some people find that it helps to make signs regarding their new plan and post them around the house - in plain sight. That way they are reminded of their goals frequently. Some people just write them in their appointment book or journal so when they look at what they have planned for the day, or did for the day, they can determine if they are moving in the right direction or need to work at it a bit more. There is at least one song with lyrics - 'you've only got one life to live..." I encourage you to make the most of what you have.





Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, planning for retirement, coping with a job loss, planning to re-enter the work force or college, non-retirement planning, and other life transitions. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone. Ms. Davis is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor (L/WC) by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/.



To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Your Life Wheel (part 4)

Although I have talked about each spoke on your life wheel independently, there are many activities that help you tend to more than one spoke at a time. Volunteer activities, for example, could help fill an occupational interest, but certainly could also address social, emotional, intellectual, physical, and/or spiritual concerns. Volunteering could be formal, as in working through an agency/organization or could be informal such as assisting a neighbor or someone in your church, family, school, etc. Journaling is another example of an activity that can fill multiple needs or interests. One other piece that I have not addressed directly is making time to play. Laughing and having fun can also have an immediate impact, potentially, on all six spokes of your life wheel. I believe that life is too short to spend it so seriously all the time. No matter what your age, you still need to have some fun and play. It could be sports, but it shouldn't be highly competitive, as that tends to take the fun out of it. It could be reading or watching something funny, talking to an upbeat friend, even writing about some fun times you've had will likely bring a smile to your face. Smiling and laughing can have an almost immediate impact on our feelings and emotional well-being. Being positive, keeping positive thoughts instead of dwelling on negative things, also add to your mental and physical health. It is important that you take care of you and do what you can to keep your life wheel in good shape. Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including job search or career change, retirement planning, coping with loss of job, planning to return to work or college, non-retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She meets individuals in person and via telephone. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor (L/WC) by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Your Life Wheel (part 3)

I have touched upon five of the six spokes on your life wheel and this post will address the occupational side of your wheel. For many people, the occupational spoke on their life wheel is, by far, the largest. Obviously, this encompasses your work and your career plans. For some, it is such a large part of their lives that there is no room to fill the other spokes, and that is not good for your overall well being. Although we pay a lot of attention to this spoke when we launch or are thrown into a job search, often we don't tend to this spoke otherwise. But I encourage you, if you have not already done so, to spend some time thinking about your work and your career plans. Do they fit together well, just somewhat, or not at all? How do your career plans fit in with your life goals and plans? If you don't have life goals and plans, that would be a good place to start. Think about what you want to accomplish/contribute to this world and develop plans to help you get there. I believe your goals and at least the basics of your plans should be written down somewhere. It seems to me that goals not written down (or recorded somewhere) are basically just dreams and it is hard to make a dream into a reality without some specific plans. So identify where you are and where you want to be, occupationally, and by when. If you don't know what your dreams or plans are, at this stage in life, you may want to spend some time thinking about that. I find that without any plans, or goals to work towards, days just seem to be less meaningful. Sort of on the other end of the spectrum are those folks who have retired and are at a loss because their occupational spoke is so small. That group also includes those who are not looking forward to retirement because work is such a major part of their lives. In my opinion, that is also not good for your overall well being. The key is to not to let work take over your entire life while you are working, so that you have time for other interests and activities to enjoy, not only while you are working, but certainly after you have quit working or reduce your work load. Look for the final post regarding your life wheel in the coming days. Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change and job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, non-retirement planning, and other life planning issues. She is certified a a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Mary Ann meets with individuals in person and at a distance via telephone. Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Your Life Wheel (part 2)

Not long ago, I posted part one of this topic. If you have not read it, you may wish to go back to January's entries and do so. Your life wheel is something that you should try to keep in balance, no matter what stage of life you are in. In today's typically hectic world, it can be more challenging to take care of yourself, but it is even more important to do so. In addition to the physical, spiritual, and social spokes I've already addressed, you should also attend to the emotional, intellectual, and occupational aspects of your life. Times of transition, like changes to your living arrangements, job changes, even changes to your routine, can add to your level of stress. As much as possible, you should attend to all six spokes on your life wheel on a regular basis to help keep it rolling smoothly. Some bumps in the road are probably unavoidable, while others are not. Maintaining your life wheel can help to smooth out your ride. The emotional spoke on the wheel encompasses your feelings, i.e. your emotions. That spoke may be the more obvious one to others. When the emotional spoke on your life wheel is out of balance, you may feel sad, blue, depressed, angry, or just plain out of sorts. If that is your situation, I encourage you to find ways to add joy to your life. That joy may come from involvement with family or friends, or maybe from inside you because of your contributions to community or others. Although frustration or agitation may come from living in today's world, yours should not be at a level that is visible to others, on a regular basis. It is important to pay attention to your feelings, particularly during times of transition, because they provide clues as to how well you are coping. Your emotions are signals about what you are feeling or experiencing. Some people find that writing about those feelings help 'get them off their chest', so to speak. Developing a plan for how you will cope with your transition can also take away some of the sting caused by uncertainty. Other times you may need a more active way of working through your feelings, for example, talking things out with someone else or some type of physical activity. When I was going through a particularly difficult time, I found that even punching a pillow helped relieve some of the tension. Talking it out, getting a hug, and/or laughing are also ways to help cope with some of your emotional bumps. The intellectual spoke on your wheel also need to be attended to on a regular basis. It doesn't matter whether you are working outside the home or from home or in the home, or what your work situation is, your mind still needs stimulation. Working jigsaw or crossword puzzles is one way to keep your mind active, as is learning something new, reading, etc. It can also be stimulated by writing or participating in other creative activities. Researching your family's genealogical history is another activity many people have found interesting and helpful. Writing in a journal can help not only your intellectual, but also the emotional spoke on your life wheel. The occupational spoke will be addressed in the next post. Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career and job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, non-retirement planning, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Your Life Wheel

From a counseling standpoint, I often help people look at their career direction to determine if there is a different direction they would like to go. Many of the people I have worked with decided they definitely needed to make a change in their work situation or to change careers totally.


But some of the individuals I have worked with decided their job/work is not the problem area in their lives, but something else that is troubling them. One approach I take with many of these clients is to look at their life wheel. There are six areas on a traditional life wheel: physical, spiritual, social, emotional, intellectual, as well as occupational. So many people focus so much of their lives on the occupation side of the wheel that they don't really nurture the other sides of their life wheel.


I'm sure you've read information or heard commercials encouraging people to be more active physically. Physical activity really can help improve your overall outlook, as well as your overall well being. It also helps improve your sleep habits, which is very important for your health. Of course, the physical side of your life wheel also includes healthy eating and getting a sufficient amount of sound, restful sleep. So, although the physical side of your life wheel is just one spoke, it encompasses several aspects that effect our well being.

The spiritual spoke on your life wheel could be addressed in a variety of ways. Certainly recognizing and tapping into your religious beliefs can be a source of strength and comfort. But additionally, reading, meditating, or appreciating nature are other ways that can help renew your strength and convictions. Remember or find out what is spiritually stimulating for you.

The social spoke on the wheel is sometimes neglected - particularly in times of transitions. Being with other people can be a boost to your system. Sometimes when we are between jobs or just entering retirement, we reduce our social contacts because we may feel awkward or somewhat out of place. True friends will understand - if given the opportunity to - whatever your situation. This is another instance where being with family is good, but you may also want to spend time with loved ones who are not so close to the situation.


We'll talk about the other spokes on the life wheel in another post.




Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career and job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, non-retirement planning, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services.


To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourcareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

What Do You Want in 2011

Think about it. What do you want in this new year? It could be for you personally, for your family and/or friends, for this country, or the world. What do you want? Now consider, what could you do to bring that into reality in 2011? If your honest response is 'nothing' then I suggest you adjust your thinking. If you have no input towards or control over what it takes to get what you want, then it is probably not a realistic goal.


Create a goal that is something you can cause to happen or at least influence others to bring it into reality. It may be that, in reality, it is just not likely to happen in 2011, but that you could exercise some influence or activity to move closer to making it a reality in 2012 or 2013. In that case, you could still start developing plans or setting the groundwork for what will come.


If necessary, start with small plans to make big changes and increase your speed as you go along. The important part, in my mind, is that you start with what it is you want and go from there. It is also important that you believe that you can achieve what you want - the mind can be a strong ally. Some people find it helps to make posters/signs with inspirational messages or words of encouragement and place them in visible spaces. Others find that just writing out and posting their goals in a place where they will see them regularly is all they need to keep motivated. Do what you need to do to bring about what you want.





Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change or job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, non-retirement planning, coping with an empty nest and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Day Dreams

Day dream - is that something that you no longer allow yourself to do? So many of the people I talk to say they can't remember when they 'allowed' themselves to day dream. It seems that as we continue to mature - or when we became 'adults' - that day dreaming was something we gave up. Sometime between childhood and today, we have lost touch with the ability or willingness to day dream. But I believe that daydreams, imagination, and creativity are very important tools in designing the life we want.


So often when we do try to visualize what our life will be like when it is the way we would like, we are not able to 'see' it because we immediately become afraid. Fear of so many things comes over us - fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of success, etc. Visualization requires the ability to day dream or to see something 'in your mind's eye'. Many believe that if we can visualize it, we can create it, or at least develop a plan to bring it into being. If we cannot visualize it, it is very unlikely that we can do no more than just wish or hope for it. And wishing and hoping, alone, do not usually bring about results.


Give yourself permission to sit quietly or with soft music or quiet sounds of nature surrounding you and clear your mind of the day-to-day worries. Focus on you and your innermost wishes; or focus on nothing, just listen to your breathing and the soothing sounds. Many people need to build up to doing visualizations - take it slowly - maybe start with just 5 or 10 minutes of sitting quietly and build up to 15 or 20, then 30 minutes of solitude. When you are able to do that you can begin to focus your attention on filling in the blanks or listening to your heart. What is missing from your life? What do you need to fulfill you? What would bring you joy/happiness? Consider whatever aspect of your life you believe needs something different.


During your quiet time, if distracting thoughts creep into your mind, put them aside for the time. You can deal with that issue or those problems or that 'what if worry' later. Take the time to allow yourself to daydream and to believe.





Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career and job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, non-retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Counseling Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services.


To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Are You Praying for What You Really Want?

So often we visualize something and immediately become afraid or reject the idea that has come to us. So, you may ask yourself, am I praying from my heart for what I really want or am I praying from my fear? Often we will dismiss a new idea or option because we start with thinking about what could go wrong or how we might end up regretting it. We do not often allow our hearts to determine what we will do. That could be said of working at a relationship, or deciding a career direction, or planning for the next stage of your life, or many other situations.

People have used excuses like, "Wouldn't I look foolish doing that?" or "What would people think if I said _____?" or "How could I explain that I chose _____?" When they should be saying "How would I feel if I followed my heart and did _______?" The debate between the heart and the head should not be a battle. Good decisions do require input from both, but in so many cases, the head starts thinking and the heart does to speak up or interrupt the thought process.

If this has happened to you time and time again, I suggest you let your heart speak first - what is it that your heart is telling you to do? That may require some quiet time alone to recognize the heart's desire, so allow for that. Allow yourself to daydream, to imagine, what it would feel like to follow your heart. Sit quietly and listen for signs or images of what you would do if you did as your heart desires. As that picture becomes clearer, write things down so you can begin to develop some plans.

It is at that point you can begin to let your brain start to figure out how to create those dreams in reality - to figure out what you would need to do to realize those dreams. Again, allow yourself to be creative. It may help to start with really way out ways to create what you want, then you can begin to whittle away until you shape something that is a workable plan.

Pray for wisdom to recognize your dreams. Pray for guidance and clarity to help you see your hopes and aspirations. Pray for direction in developing plans to bring your dreams to life. In those ways, you will not be praying from your fears, but from your hopes and dreams.


Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association; a Life/Work Counselor (L/WC) by the National Employment Counseling Association; and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message to send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Are You Planning Not to Retire?

I have talked with a number of people in their 50s and 60s who are not planning to retire - at least not in the traditional sense of retirement. They do not see a rocking chair in their near future. They are not planning to move to Florida and stroll on the beach from dawn to dusk every day. They are not yet ready to stay at home and just putter around in the garden or on the golf course. These are people who are planning not to retire - yet!

Many of these individuals plan to keep working - not necessarily in the same job, but working at something. Some people take advantage of their retirement plan and look for new ways to utilize their skills and satisfy their need to do meaningful work. That is often accomplished by finding another kind of work, sometimes that is accomplished through volunteer or community work.

Keep in mind, that for work to be meaningful, doesn't mean it has to be high pay or high stress or high profile or huge responsibilities. Meaningfulness is an individual preference. So, what I might think of as meaningful, someone else may not, and vice-versa. In most cases, in order for an activity to be meaningful, it must bring to someone some joy, pleasure, excitement, or an interesting challenge. Secondly, for an activity to be meaningful, it generally meets a personal goal or fills a need. Generally it will be an activity that allows you to use your talents and abilities. Additionally, for an activity to be meaningful, it generally needs to be something that fits with a value you hold dear. It is generally something that addresses a need on a larger scale - community, country, or humankind.

As more and more people work later in life, the picture of 'typical retirement' is changing. Think and dream about how you would like to spend time in your next stage of life and plan now to create the life you want in your retirement years.


Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change or job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC), by the National Career Development Association; a Life/Work Counselor (L/WC) by the National Employment Counseling Association; and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourcareerPlan.com for more information.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

IF

"IF" is a small word, but it can have great impact on our lives. Think of all the times you have used the word 'if'. Perhaps at times you have said, or thought, "If I had stayed at that job, by now I would be ___." Or "If I hadn't done _________ now I would be _________." Sometimes we decide, "If I do _________ now, I won't be able to do _________ later." You may even have thought, "If I retire when I'm _____ years old, my life will be over."

It is probably natural to think in terms of 'ifs', but I encourage you not to let those thoughts rule every decision. Allow yourself to think of the wonderful possibilities that could happen... if. Sometimes it can help to think of the 'ifs', like "If everything goes as planned, I will be able to ___________." Or, "If I change my lifestyle in this way, I can enjoy __________."

So, I encourage you to think of the potential positive aspects of your 'what ifs'. It certainly can be scarry to make a change because of the uncertainty involved. Plan for the likeliest events and you will be more likely to increase your confidence in making the change.


Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in the State of Ohio, a Master Career Counselor (MCC) as designated by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor, and a Distance Credentialed Counselor. She has over 20 years of experience working with adults in transition. She meets with individuals in person through Yager & Associates' Holistic Counseling Care of Cincinnati and at a distance through Your Career Plan.

Visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com, call Mary Ann at (513) 665-4444 x3, or send an e-mail to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.