Day dream - is that something that you no longer allow yourself to do? So many of the people I talk to say they can't remember when they 'allowed' themselves to day dream. It seems that as we continue to mature - or when we became 'adults' - that day dreaming was something we gave up. Sometime between childhood and today, we have lost touch with the ability or willingness to day dream. But I believe that daydreams, imagination, and creativity are very important tools in designing the life we want.
So often when we do try to visualize what our life will be like when it is the way we would like, we are not able to 'see' it because we immediately become afraid. Fear of so many things comes over us - fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of success, etc. Visualization requires the ability to day dream or to see something 'in your mind's eye'. Many believe that if we can visualize it, we can create it, or at least develop a plan to bring it into being. If we cannot visualize it, it is very unlikely that we can do no more than just wish or hope for it. And wishing and hoping, alone, do not usually bring about results.
Give yourself permission to sit quietly or with soft music or quiet sounds of nature surrounding you and clear your mind of the day-to-day worries. Focus on you and your innermost wishes; or focus on nothing, just listen to your breathing and the soothing sounds. Many people need to build up to doing visualizations - take it slowly - maybe start with just 5 or 10 minutes of sitting quietly and build up to 15 or 20, then 30 minutes of solitude. When you are able to do that you can begin to focus your attention on filling in the blanks or listening to your heart. What is missing from your life? What do you need to fulfill you? What would bring you joy/happiness? Consider whatever aspect of your life you believe needs something different.
During your quiet time, if distracting thoughts creep into your mind, put them aside for the time. You can deal with that issue or those problems or that 'what if worry' later. Take the time to allow yourself to daydream and to believe.
Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career and job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, non-retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Counseling Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services.
To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.
Showing posts with label retirement planning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label retirement planning. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Are You Praying for What You Really Want?
So often we visualize something and immediately become afraid or reject the idea that has come to us. So, you may ask yourself, am I praying from my heart for what I really want or am I praying from my fear? Often we will dismiss a new idea or option because we start with thinking about what could go wrong or how we might end up regretting it. We do not often allow our hearts to determine what we will do. That could be said of working at a relationship, or deciding a career direction, or planning for the next stage of your life, or many other situations.
People have used excuses like, "Wouldn't I look foolish doing that?" or "What would people think if I said _____?" or "How could I explain that I chose _____?" When they should be saying "How would I feel if I followed my heart and did _______?" The debate between the heart and the head should not be a battle. Good decisions do require input from both, but in so many cases, the head starts thinking and the heart does to speak up or interrupt the thought process.
If this has happened to you time and time again, I suggest you let your heart speak first - what is it that your heart is telling you to do? That may require some quiet time alone to recognize the heart's desire, so allow for that. Allow yourself to daydream, to imagine, what it would feel like to follow your heart. Sit quietly and listen for signs or images of what you would do if you did as your heart desires. As that picture becomes clearer, write things down so you can begin to develop some plans.
It is at that point you can begin to let your brain start to figure out how to create those dreams in reality - to figure out what you would need to do to realize those dreams. Again, allow yourself to be creative. It may help to start with really way out ways to create what you want, then you can begin to whittle away until you shape something that is a workable plan.
Pray for wisdom to recognize your dreams. Pray for guidance and clarity to help you see your hopes and aspirations. Pray for direction in developing plans to bring your dreams to life. In those ways, you will not be praying from your fears, but from your hopes and dreams.
Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association; a Life/Work Counselor (L/WC) by the National Employment Counseling Association; and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information.
To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message to send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.
People have used excuses like, "Wouldn't I look foolish doing that?" or "What would people think if I said _____?" or "How could I explain that I chose _____?" When they should be saying "How would I feel if I followed my heart and did _______?" The debate between the heart and the head should not be a battle. Good decisions do require input from both, but in so many cases, the head starts thinking and the heart does to speak up or interrupt the thought process.
If this has happened to you time and time again, I suggest you let your heart speak first - what is it that your heart is telling you to do? That may require some quiet time alone to recognize the heart's desire, so allow for that. Allow yourself to daydream, to imagine, what it would feel like to follow your heart. Sit quietly and listen for signs or images of what you would do if you did as your heart desires. As that picture becomes clearer, write things down so you can begin to develop some plans.
It is at that point you can begin to let your brain start to figure out how to create those dreams in reality - to figure out what you would need to do to realize those dreams. Again, allow yourself to be creative. It may help to start with really way out ways to create what you want, then you can begin to whittle away until you shape something that is a workable plan.
Pray for wisdom to recognize your dreams. Pray for guidance and clarity to help you see your hopes and aspirations. Pray for direction in developing plans to bring your dreams to life. In those ways, you will not be praying from your fears, but from your hopes and dreams.
Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association; a Life/Work Counselor (L/WC) by the National Employment Counseling Association; and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information.
To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message to send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Are You Planning Not to Retire?
I have talked with a number of people in their 50s and 60s who are not planning to retire - at least not in the traditional sense of retirement. They do not see a rocking chair in their near future. They are not planning to move to Florida and stroll on the beach from dawn to dusk every day. They are not yet ready to stay at home and just putter around in the garden or on the golf course. These are people who are planning not to retire - yet!
Many of these individuals plan to keep working - not necessarily in the same job, but working at something. Some people take advantage of their retirement plan and look for new ways to utilize their skills and satisfy their need to do meaningful work. That is often accomplished by finding another kind of work, sometimes that is accomplished through volunteer or community work.
Keep in mind, that for work to be meaningful, doesn't mean it has to be high pay or high stress or high profile or huge responsibilities. Meaningfulness is an individual preference. So, what I might think of as meaningful, someone else may not, and vice-versa. In most cases, in order for an activity to be meaningful, it must bring to someone some joy, pleasure, excitement, or an interesting challenge. Secondly, for an activity to be meaningful, it generally meets a personal goal or fills a need. Generally it will be an activity that allows you to use your talents and abilities. Additionally, for an activity to be meaningful, it generally needs to be something that fits with a value you hold dear. It is generally something that addresses a need on a larger scale - community, country, or humankind.
As more and more people work later in life, the picture of 'typical retirement' is changing. Think and dream about how you would like to spend time in your next stage of life and plan now to create the life you want in your retirement years.
Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change or job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC), by the National Career Development Association; a Life/Work Counselor (L/WC) by the National Employment Counseling Association; and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourcareerPlan.com for more information.
To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.
Many of these individuals plan to keep working - not necessarily in the same job, but working at something. Some people take advantage of their retirement plan and look for new ways to utilize their skills and satisfy their need to do meaningful work. That is often accomplished by finding another kind of work, sometimes that is accomplished through volunteer or community work.
Keep in mind, that for work to be meaningful, doesn't mean it has to be high pay or high stress or high profile or huge responsibilities. Meaningfulness is an individual preference. So, what I might think of as meaningful, someone else may not, and vice-versa. In most cases, in order for an activity to be meaningful, it must bring to someone some joy, pleasure, excitement, or an interesting challenge. Secondly, for an activity to be meaningful, it generally meets a personal goal or fills a need. Generally it will be an activity that allows you to use your talents and abilities. Additionally, for an activity to be meaningful, it generally needs to be something that fits with a value you hold dear. It is generally something that addresses a need on a larger scale - community, country, or humankind.
As more and more people work later in life, the picture of 'typical retirement' is changing. Think and dream about how you would like to spend time in your next stage of life and plan now to create the life you want in your retirement years.
Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change or job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC), by the National Career Development Association; a Life/Work Counselor (L/WC) by the National Employment Counseling Association; and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourcareerPlan.com for more information.
To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.
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