Be Kind to Yourself

When you are preparing for or coping with transitions in life, I caution you to be kind to yourself. So many times in the midst of turmoil or frustration we are harder on ourselves than anyone else would be. I caution you to be kind to yourself. I think this means you should only move forward as fast (or as slowly) as any part of you is able to move. Just because your mind is ready to take a leap, it doesn't mean your heart is ready for that kind of change. You must listen to your mind and your heart and your spirit as you plan changes for your life.

I think you should monitor your self talk - don't beat yourself up because things move more slowly than you had planned or because you get stuck part way through a transition. Also, try not to nag yourself if you are moving more slowly than you had hoped. The other thing I share with my clients is that sometimes what we think of as self-talk are actually tapes of others who criticized us earlier in life. If you find that you are being very critical of yourself, pay attention to whose voice you are hearing. It may be a remnant from your past that you are now able to put aside to listen to your true inner voice. Changes are difficult, whether they are voluntary or involuntary, so it is important to try to handle it as best you can, and know that you are doing what you need to do to take care of you.

If part of you is still feeling reluctant to make the change you had decided to make, consider why the hesitation. Is there something you have overlooked? Are the parameters of the decision somehow different than you thought they would be? Are other factors at play that were not known before? As things become clearer, or begin to fall into place, you will likely feel more comfortable and perhaps be able to move at a faster pace, but until you are OK with it, take care of and be kind to yourself. Realize that your hesitancy may well be founded in some truth you are not yet aware of.


Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change or job search, planning for retirement, loss of job, coping with an empty nest, preparing to return to work or school, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping to solve problems related to life transitions. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.