What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

So, for those of you who know lyrics to songs, you may recognize that as a phrase from a holiday song from long ago. In that instance, it is a somewhat romantic song, that I think is very pretty. But my question has a little different purpose - what are you doing New Year's Eve in relation to your plans for you for 2012. Well, maybe you plan to create your traditional New Year's resolutions. Or maybe you just have a party on your agenda. Maybe you plan to watch whatever sporting events are on TV. The fact that New Year's Eve falls on a Saturday this year may change your approach to the day.


But whether you work on this on New Year's Eve or some other day - before or just after the beginning of the new year, I encourage you to think about what you plan to do for you and with your life during the exciting year of 2012. We may not know what to expect in terms of some predictions, but we can make the best of our days that we can. Think about what you would like to accomplish - and this might be at work or in your family or your other personal life. What happens to so many people is that we have ideas and sketches of plans in our heads, but in my opinion, until we get it down on paper, it is not really a plan. (Of course, that reference to paper, could also include a computer file, for those who have forgotten what it is like to write things on actual paper!)


So think about what you would like to accomplish, be it something small, medium sized or really big, and begin to develop some plans to make it happen. I really find that having things written out help me to think about what steps I actually need to take to bring the plans into reality. I think it also helps to identify some time frames for when you will complete each part of the plan and develop a system of checkpoints to increase the chances that things will happen in a timely manner.

Happy New Year!




Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, coping with a job loss, planning to return to work or to school, preparing for retirement or non-retirement, and other life changes. She has been working with adults in person and via telephone for over 25 years to assist them in finding solutions to their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Winter Solstice

This year the Winter Solstice will occur on Thursday, December 22. This is generally thought of as the shortest day, thus the longest night, of the year. It is considered by some as a time of rebirth or of reversals. As such, it seems appropriate that I should encourage you to think about your life and plans you have made, or intended to make. This opportunity for reversal could be a time when you decide you will no longer tolerate a situation that is not healthy for you. Or perhaps just adjust some circumstances that have gotten out of hand and beyond your reach. It could be a time when you decide to take better care of yourself - perhaps resume that exercise program you had started in the summer or the act of leaving your work at work. Maybe you had promised yourself that you would start watching what you eat and adding more veggies to your diet.


Perhaps you're one who wants to spend more time with family or friends but haven't actually gotten around to doing things differently. Maybe you just want to disconnect from technology so you can reconnect with people who are important in your life. Or maybe it is time to start that college program you have been looking at or finish the book you started reading last spring. It could even involve cleaning out your closets to clear the way for new things or clearing your mind to be open and available to new thoughts.


It could be any number of things that you either have not gotten around to or have started, but not completed, or have gotten off the track of your good intentions. You may even need to make a list then you can determine the order in which you plan to do those things that still matter.


Take this opportunity of reversal/rebirth/realignment to regain some control, or order, or peace, or whatever in our life could be improved upon and make 2012 a better year for you.




Mary Ann Davis, M.A. is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, preparing for retirement, planning to return to school or to work, coping with a job loss, or other life transitions. She meets with individuals in person and/or via telephone to assist in their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). To learn more about her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

The World is Just Not the Same

I know, that is no big announcement. Anyone over the age of 10 probably realizes that the world is just not the same today as it was yesterday. And that applies if your yesterday was actually just 24 hours ago or if you think of it as 30 or 40 years ago. But the basic statement applies to our daily lives, our families and friends, and our ways of thinking about the world.

As we approach the end of yet another year, we may tend to think about what this particular year has brought and what it has meant. For many of us who are over the age of 30, this year flew by faster than any of the previous years - that is partly because time seems to do that as we continue to mature - and I think partly because we have managed to speed up our lives by taking away some of our own personal "down" time.

So many people these days are constantly "plugged in" which leaves no real time to yourself. That time when you can just sit with your thoughts and let them lead you wherever they will. Those quiet times when you can remember what your daydreams used to entail, when you had high hopes for your future. Without those times, we may lose track of our dreams or forget them entirely. Then when we are thinking about what we should be doing with our lives, we are often at a loss. We may have lost that ability to create something different from our own thoughts. We may have become afraid to think about what we would like to change or do differently in our lives.

If this applies to you, I suggest you unplug for a while - try it in small installments - maybe just 15 or 20 minutes at a time and spend some time with your thoughts. If this needs to be sitting in your bathroom or bedroom with the door locked, so be it. Spend some time thinking about how your life has developed and what, if anything, you would like to do differently. After you have done this for a few days, begin writing down the thoughts that come to you during your quiet time. After a while, you can begin to put together a list of those thoughts and determine which ones you are ready to develop into actual plans.

Find some time for you - time is still going to fly by too quickly, but maybe this way, when you carve out some quiet time next December, you will be able to smile about ways in which you have made changes or at least developed plans to do so. Best wishes.

Mary Ann Davis, M.A. is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Ohio providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, planning to return to work or to school, coping with a job loss, preparing for retirement, and other life changes. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assit them to find solutions to life transition issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444- x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

What Will You Do Tomorrow?

As of this writing, tomorrow is 11/11/11. That is a significant date in terms of many issues, and I encourage you to think about what creative energy you can utilize to make changes in your life. Know that you have the capability to make changes - but you must believe and act. It is not sufficient to believe and sit back and wait for things to happen differently. If you do the same things the same way, you will likely get the same results. Also if you act differently but do not believe it will make a difference, it probably won't. That's why you need the combination of belief and actions to make changes in your life.

I, like so many others, encourage you to take some time, preferably today, to think about how you would like your life to be different in the future. You can begin to plan for a different future, but you need to know what you want and what should be different. You may wish to consider your personal relationships and your other life situations to determine what is working for you and what is somewhat lacking. If there are people in your life who are always down on life in general, consider how much time you need or want to spend with that person. Negativity tends to bring on more negativity. If there are people you have met who are positive and forward thinking, you may want to consider how you could increase time spent with those people. A positive attitude is very contagious.

Also think about the other aspects of your life. If there are areas in which you are not happy, think about what it would take to turn that around. Is it something within your grasp? Do you have the ability to bring about the change you desire, if you put your mind and your efforts into it? If so, develop your plan for a new way of acting and thinking. Make tomorrow the beginning of a better life for you.

Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, planning to return to work or school, preparing for non-retirement, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist them through her change guidance system. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

What Do You Want? (part 2)

Once you have narrowed down your list of things you would like to add in your life, I encourage you to find ways to create the life you want. I encourage my clients to develop plans to bring about the necessary change. Some of you may be more into planning than others, but I find it works well for most people.

Start by figuring our where you are now in relation to where you want to be in life. Are you just a few steps away from getting what you want, or will it be a long hill to climb? Only you can decide if the distance is within reach. If it is, then write out what you need to do to get you where you want to be. You may need to do some research on the topic, but through the Internet you can discover information about so many topics, that it is not as difficult these days as research used to be. So do some reading, if need be, and figure out what it will require.

Then think about how long you will allow to get where you want to be. Do you need to be there yesterday or will sometime in the next 18 months or 3 or 5 years suffice? What kind of time frame can you work with? Once you have that, you can begin to chart out what you need to do in smaller increments to get you where you want to be. Some people work best with a monthly planner. Each month they assign a task from their "To Do" list to move them closer to their goal. If you are working with a short time frame, you may need a weekly "To Do" list.

It helps many people to include as many details as possible in their plan so it is less likely they will miss a step. I also encourage you to include some check points in your plan - times when you will make a conscious effort to check on your progress. That tends to eliminate looking up in a few months or next year and finding that you started on your plan but somewhere along the line got derailed and it has been on the back burner ever since.

The other suggestion is that the items on your "To Do" lists should be things that are within your ability to do or to make happen. That way you are not dependent on someone else to help you get to where you want to go.

Life is short, I encourage you not to spend it wishing and hoping but planning and doing.

Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, planning to return to work or to school, preparing for non-retirement, and other life transitions. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist in developing solutions to their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

What do You Want?

In the last post, we talked about what your heart desires. This is a very similar line of thinking - what do you want? When was the last time you thought about that? What is it that YOU want? Is there something that you have wanted to do but have been too tired, too busy, too shy, too whatever, to try? Perhaps you feel that you are too young to do that, or too old or would look too silly. What is it that you would really want to do that you have not done?

I encourage you to give that some thought. It may help to sit in a quiet place where you can think and either talk out loud as you sort through those thoughts or where you can write down your thoughts. It helps some people to work with a blank sheet of paper and just start writing down - in your own short notes - what it is you would like to do. Don't censor your thoughts or not put something down because you don't know how to do it or think you would look silly doing it. Just write things down as they come to you. If you are more of a talker than a writer, then get a tape recorder and blank tape or whatever mechanism you could use to record your voice and go to a quiet place where you can be alone. Then begin to speak aloud the things you would like to do. Again, don't omit things because you would feel foolish if others knew it was on your list or because you wouldn't know where to begin to make it happen.

That first step is designed to help you bring thoughts or dreams - that you may have buried - up to the surface where you can recognize them. Once you have created a list of possibilities, then you can go through it and think about whether or not it is really something you would like to do or if it was a dream long ago, but no longer. Keep on your list only those things you would still want. Then go through the remaining items and figure out what you would need to do if you actually wanted to do each one. If you don't know what it would take, or where you could start, find someone to talk to about it. When you have some more information, then you can decide if it is a reasonable idea or something that is just a dream but you don't plan to make it a reality.

If it is something you do want, is now the time you will reward yourself and pursue it? If not now, when? Can you put a partial plan together before you put it on the shelf? That partial plan should include a time frame when you will revisit the idea to determine if that is the time to go for it. Find ways to create the life you want by including the things you would like to do in your life, in the near future.


Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, planning to return to college or to work, preparing for non-retirement, coping with job loss, and other life plans. Mary Ann meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist them to find solutions to life transition issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

What Does Your Heart Desire?

Sometimes when I am alone, I think about what is it that my heart desires? What would make me happy? This time of year, it may be watching a football game - uninterrupted. It may be sitting outside and watching the clouds roll by or taking a walk to check out the colors of the leaves or the flowers that are still in bloom. Sometimes it is having companionship and sharing a few laughs (or a few tears) with a friend.

Needless to say, I am not always able to provide what my heart desires, but to the extent I can, I do. I believe life is too short to spend it wishing and hoping and if I can make it happen, I will try.

So, I encourage you to think about what your heart desires. It may be related to a variety of aspects of your life, or there may be one part that is screaming for attention. Allow some quiet time, alone, so you can think about what your heart desires. Once you know that, then figure out how you can make it happen. I wish you joy and success in getting what your heart desires.


Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions: including a career change or job loss, planning to return to work or school, coping with a job loss, or other life transitions. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist in helping them find solutions to their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Do You Notice Changing Seasons?

Well, it is nearing the end of September and in the Midwest we are already seeing signs of the changing seasons. We are very quickly moving into fall and Summer will soon be just a distant memory. For some, that means the end of playing in the pool, playing on the courts or golf course, digging in the garden, and/or hitting the road for fun. Others see it as the end of a long stretch of being inside - hiding from the sun and it's heat. For many, it signals the end of vacation time or an easier schedule.


Some see autumn as a beginning. The beginning of a new school year. The beginning of football season. The beginning of a stretch of holidays and family festivities. Each of us has our own appreciation, or lack of, for the fall season, but there is nothing we can do to stop it from happening, at least, not as long as we live in the Midwest. So we can decide to accept, embrace or celebrate the coming of autumn. Or we can grumble, fuss, and moan about the change of seasons.


The choice is yours. I guess that is my point today: the choice is yours as to how you react and feel about a change over which you have that little control. I hope you choose to accept the change, but even better would be to embrace it. I encourage you to think of change as an opportunity to experience something different - even though you have been through the change of seasons many times, we have never experienced Autumn, 2011.



Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, planning for non-retirement, coping with a job loss or empty nest, preparing to return to work or to school, and other life planning issues. She meet with individuals in person and via telephone to assist in finding solutions to life transition issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association (MCC), a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). If you would like more information on her services, please visit her website at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/.


To contact Mary Ann, please call 513-665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

What Did You Want in 2011?

Well, as hard as it may be to believe, we are almost three-quarters through this year. I know I often think of the old adage, "Time flies when you're having fun!" I think it also flies the longer you live. So if you have just looked up and realized another year is fast approaching, perhaps now is a good time to review what you wanted for 2011. If you are a person who wrote out New Years Resolutions, have you looked at them since you wrote them down? If you just made a list in your head, have you thought of what you wanted to do/achieve this year since those first few months moved along?

One of the things I encourage my clients to do when they develop a plan for change is to include some times for a checkup. Kind of like your car needs a 3,000 or 5,000 mile check-up, we could benefit from that as well. For one thing it gives us an opportunity to stop, sit down, and look at what we have accomplished so far. What has happened in these last four or five months? Are things going as planned? Did I even have a plan or is it now just a distant memory? Sometimes life deals us a hand that we did not anticipate and that throws all of our plans out the window. Other times we start on a plan and realize it really won't get us where we want to go or is a longer route than we need to take. So how is your plan?

Have you looked at it since you created it? If not, now is a good time to do so. If you have not been keeping to the plan or somehow gotten off track, there may still be time to get back on track. There is still time to accomplish some things in the last few months we have for this year, but it probably requires you to move into some form of action.

Again, figure out where you are headed and decide if that is still a reasonable and feasible goal. If so, what steps can you take to get back on track? If not, what goal can you put in place to work on? As we move into fall, fight the desire to sit back and just watch the leaves fall. Some activity that moves you in the right direction will feel better as we sit back this winter and reflect upon what we got done in 2011. It would be great to review the year in December and smile about actually accomplishing what you had hoped to during this year.

Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, planning for return to work or to school, coping with an empty nest, preparing for non-retirement, and other life planning issues. She works with individuals in person and via telephone assisting them to find solutions to life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit www.YourCareerPlan.com.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Returning to School

If you are one of the many adults returning to school, or entering college for the first time, it is important that you get off to a good start. If you have been away from education for some time, it can also be a pretty scary proposition. There are three suggestions I share with my clients who have decided to continue their education: manage the process, manage your time, and manage your life. Of course, all of that is easier said than done.


By managing the process, I refer to learning and strengthening the skills needed for academic success. I have talked with hundreds of adults returning to learning and the majority indicate there is at least one subject area in which they feel rusty. For many it is math, but others identify reading or writing - all of those are fundamental to your academic success. There is no shame in getting help so that you can be a successful student and if you could benefit from a tutor or other assistance, you should not be embarrassed to ask for it. It may take a while to knock off the rust, but it can be done. Other suggestions include sitting near the front of the class and if you are not comfortable asking a question in class, you should find a way to contact the professor to ask it out of class. Obviously, you need to have all the books and other supplies needed for each class and read assignments ahead of time, even if you don't completely understand what you are reading.


Time management can be a big issue for adult learners. Most of us have so many demands on our time that we often put other people and/or other concerns before our own. If you have decided to return to school, you probably need to focus on your needs as well. We generally tell students they should plan for 2 to 3 hours of study for every hour they are in class, every week. So being a full-time student is a full time job and not everyone calculates that kind of time commitment when they first get back to school. Of course, some subjects may require a little (or a lot) more time and you may find that you have a class that doesn't require quite that much, but that is the general rule. Many people benefit from making a weekly schedule to include study time, so that a week doesn't go by without them opening a book.


Also, in order to be a successful student, and adult, you also need to manage your life - the other responsibilities you have in life, as well as taking care of you. It may mean that you cut back on your social activities until you see how well you can juggle all of your responsibilities. It may mean that you need to reduce your time for exercise or other outside activities. But, you will notice I didn't suggest you cut them out completely. If there are activities you do to keep you well and mentally, as well as physically, in shape, I don't think you should eliminate them entirely. Find ways to work some of that in to your schedule. It may mean that you need to delegate some of your household responsibilities to someone else, or maybe you cut back on some of that, as well.


It can be difficult to continue your education as a fully grown adult, but it can be very beneficial.

Mary Ann Davis, M.A. is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, preparing to return to work or to school, coping with job loss, planning for non-retirement, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping find solutions to life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her website at www.YourCareerPlan.com.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice offering coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a job or career change, preparing to return to school or to work, coping with job loss, preparing for non-retirement, and other life transitions. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist in creating solutions to life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Career Development Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor. Please visit her website at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services.





To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Become or Get Active

If you are retired, or even semi-retired, it is important that you maintain a level of activity. If you have not continued to be active (or never were), I encourage you to find ways to get active. It is important that you are active - physically and mentally. There are days when I wake up and don't really feel like getting up and certainly don't feel like moving, but those are the days when it is extra important for me to do so. There are days when it could be so easy to lay around much of the day, doing very little. But those are the days when I must encourage myself to move - even if not at full speed. Often when I take a walk anyway, I find that once I get going, I feel better than I thought I did. So, since it is important to keep moving, do what you need to do to keep at it. The body seems to be a lot like the brain and math - if you don't use it, you lose it.

And that brings up the other part of the keep moving - your brain. Not only with math, do you lose the ability to handle it, once you stop, other tasks become more difficult if you don't regularly exercise your brain. Find ways to keep your brain active that are things you at least somewhat enjoy doing. Working jigsaw puzzles or word puzzles are a good exercise for your brain. Playing cards and other kinds of games can keep your mind stimulated. Putting something together and other kinds of creative activities are also good for the brain. Reading and writing are also good ways to use your brain. Learning something new is a very good way to keep the brain fully functioning. It does not even have to be through a class, although that is a good activity. Many colleges offer classes at a reduced rate for senior citizens or have non-credit bearing courses that may be of interest to you. It may not be too late to sign up for a course for this fall.

Don't let your muscles get too relaxed and unstimulated. To maintain or achieve better health, keep or get active!


Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, planning for non-retirement, coping with job loss, preparing to return to work or school, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in-person and at a distance to help them develop solutions to life transition issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Coping With Your Transitions (part 4)

Transitions affect different people in different ways. Some folks willingly throw themselves into a transition, while others seem to have transitions thrust upon them. Letting go of a particular situation can be difficult, and that typically at least causes us to feel some sense of loss, which may, or may not, be accompanied by a sense of relief or excitement about what is to come.


Long ago, in other civilizations, there were some public ceremonies to designate specific transitions. We don't have very many of those 'rites of passage' these days. Each of us must figure out how best to cope with our transitions. Some of that may be learned from how we have adjusted to endings and beginnings in our past. It may help to spend some time trying to remember how you have responded to transitions previously. You can start just by thinking about how you approach saying goodbye after visiting family or friends. Do you make it a long, emotional scene, or do you go out with barely saying goodbye?


You may also want to think about more recent changes in your life. What kinds of events brought about those changes? If you have not dealt with previous transitions well, you can probably change your routine by uncovering your typical response to change. Then it is possible to learn a different coping style that may be more favorable for you.


Transitions in life are a part of life and those that happen in one phase or aspect of our lives often impact the other aspects of our lives, as well as the lives of others around us. These changes can have a cumulative negative effect on us, not only physically, but also socially and mentally. And that applies not only to those changes that effect us directly, but also those that effect us indirectly because of changes others are going through.


Coping with your transitions in life is a survival skill and the better you get at it, the better your life will be. For transitions will continue as long as you continue to live. With some effort, we can be better prepared for how we will respond to future transitions.




Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a job or career change, planning for retirement, coping with an empty nest, preparing to return to school or to work, coping with the loss of job, or other life planning concerns. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist them in finding solutions to their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Coping With Your Transitions (part 3)

We have talked briefly about new beginnings and endings, but the third part of a transition is the neutral zone, although they do not generally occur in that order. This should occur between the ending and the new beginning to allow time, not only to adjust to what is to come, but to gain a sense of renewal and, hopefully, increased awareness.


For many people, the neutral zone is the most uncomfortable part of a transition - it is a time when you may have a desire to get away and to stop your day-to-day routines. It may feel like a time of grayness - things are not yet seen as black or white. Although the neutral zone may be entered before you have really ended something, it may come with the new situation, or it may stretch out before you like an endless desert as you know not what you seek, but are looking for something different.


During our time in the neutral zone, we should give ourselves the opportunity to see things differently and to get reoriented toward our new direction. It can also help us to get "past" our past. We are very likely to view our lives differently from this different perspective; as though we have stepped out of ourselves to see how we were before we try to recreate ourselves.


So the neutral zone is a good time to write your life's story - filling in the realities of what has happened, but writing the future as you want it to be. It may be best to spend some of your time in the neutral zone alone, when you are truly by yourself and can be alone with your thoughts. This requires you to be removed from your usual distractions, but in a place where you are safe.


You may also want to spend some time thinking (and perhaps writing) about what would be unlived if your life ended today. To think about what things you had really wanted to do that you haven't. What had you wanted to accomplish? Then you can decide if those things are still worth doing in this next stage of your life, as you design your new beginning.



Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, preparing for retirement, coping with an empty nest or loss of job, planning to return to school or to work. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist them in finding solutions to their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Coping With Your Transitions (part 2)

Many of our transitions in life seem to be initiated by an ending of some sort. Certainly a divorce usually send us into a transition, as well as your first or last child going to school or to college. Transitions may result from moving to another city or changing jobs. We also must cope with the endings of phases of our life because of maturation or aging. So for some folks, they begin a significant transition when they graduate from high school and/or college. Of course there's that mid life transition - now somewhere between 30s and late 40s. These events or stages typically represent the ending of one phase and entering a new phase in life.

We may expect difficulties coping with divorce and some other events that are viewed as negative. But we are sometimes thrown by what seems like a positive thing that causes negative feelings, such as a promotion. The new job title, money and other perks sound great, but you maybe had not planned on missing the old job and former co-workers as much as you do. When you are the person who wants the divorce and you have thought about it long and hard before proceeding, you may be surprised at how many sad feelings accompany that event.

Endings can seem like they will be easier to adjust to than they sometimes are and often we do not take endings seriously enough, especially when we are looking forward to the new beginning we have launched. But many of our endings start because something has gone wrong. Other times we may be reluctant to admit we are struggling with a transition that is the result of something "good" happening to us. That may seem to imply we have made a "bad" choice or do not appreciate our "good fortune".

But whether the ending was something you consciously chose or not, it is most helpful to recognize what is ending and appreciate that or work through those accompanying difficulties before proceeding. It is difficult to have a clean "new beginning" if you are still holding on to the previous situation that is now ending.

Many people experience a period of time sort of in a neutral zone before they really can begin something new. We'll talk about that neutral zone in the next post, but for the endings in your life, it is important to pay attention to your internal messaging system and your feelings. It may be that you need to be sure to pay particular attention to your self before and during the transition. You may benefit from writing in a transition journal. If you are feeling uncomfortable, recognize that as a likely sign of change and take some time to allow for adjustment - especially internally. If you have not already done so, look for what you have learned from the situation that is ending and how that may help you in your next situation. Of course, if you find it difficult to cope with the ending, please find someone to talk to.

Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist them in finding solutions to their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor. Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Coping With Your Transitions (part 1)

By our very nature, as human beings, we go through a number of transitions in life. Some we barely notice, others may stop us in our tracks, and many fall somewhere in between. Some transitions are a part of human development and some are choices we, or someone else, have made. Whether you think of a person's life as having a morning, afternoon, and evening or a Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter, there are some developmental stages we all go through. Some of those stages you may now have no remembrance of, others may still be very clear in your mind.


There is not time to go into all of the transitions that are a result of our growing up, but for this post, I will just focus on transitions that seem to be initiated by the individual - by creating a new beginning. These might be new relationships, improvements in your self or your personal/home life, changes in your work or your financial situation. You may have had a notion that you wanted something different for a while and finally decide to act upon it. It may have felt like the idea for something different just came to you, as in a dream. Whatever the initial signs that you recognized, you chose to head off in a different direction, in some aspect of your life.

Some people develop fairly extensive plans for how they will get from where they are to where they now want to be. Others sort of "wing it" and follow some unknown directives to their new circumstances. Even in these instances, the transitions that we launch by choice and that we see as positive, new directions in our lives, can cause us to second guess ourselves. There is sometimes a temptation to stay where we were and as we were, where it seems safe because it is a known situation, compared to venturing into a new arena. That second-guessing might come about because there is a legitimate reason to be cautious. But often it is our safe-keeping self trying to dissuade us from doing something different. It can be difficult to sort out your feelings and your thoughts to distinguish between those reasons. But that is what you must do. Is it just a matter of your inner self trying to hold on to what is known and, therefore, comfortable, or is it a form of an inner early warning system?

For me, it usually helps to consider the circumstances of the new proposed change to help me sort through those conflicting messages. Having some time alone and relatively free from distractions for this contemplation is imperative. It also helps me, because of my nature, to write things out. I can clear a lot of confusion through my writing. Sometimes, I need to talk it out with a confidante - that is not necessarily to get their input on what they would do, or what they think I should do. But, rather it is to get their feedback on whether or not what I plan to do makes sense for me - from their perspective. A combination of those strategies may be most helpful for you. What I would encourage you to consider though, is that if there is a change you plan to make (or a change you have just made), that you believe will mean an improvement in some aspect of your life, don't let those second thoughts immediately make you change your mind. Before aborting your plans, try to figure out the source of your uncertainties. We will talk more about transitions in my next post.

Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a job or carer change, coping with an empty nest, planning to return to work or to school, retirement planning, coping with loss of job, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and on-line to assist them to find solutions to life transition issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.
To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Is It Time to Make Lemonade?

I'm sure you have heard the phrase, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" So I wonder, if you feel like it is time to make lemonade? I have personally experienced more than a few disappointments in life and remember that I was not initially thinking it was time for me to make some lemonade. As a person who likes to plan, and does best when I have the opportunity to do so, I am most thrown by those transitions that I don't have time or the opportunity to plan for.

Although you probably have heard that suggestion to make lemonade before, following that advice is not always easy. For me, it is typically less of an issue when the transition is something I have planned. But, in my unplanned transitions, there was something inside me still asking why. There was that whole issue about how I thought things would be - that weren't and, apparently wouldn't ever be! There was also the issue of recognizing and accepting the fact that that particular phase of my life was over. I read books and articles on transitions - a few for a second time. I recognized that before one can really move on, one must bring closure to what was. Usually, it also requires an uncomfortable middle period between the ending of one phase and the beginning of a new one. Although I knew those things, sort of from an intellectual standpoint, "knowing" them from an emotional aspect was more difficult to accomplish.

So, for me, I have to remind myself that getting through a transition will take time. I generally write more in my journal. Sometimes I would just ramble on writing whatever thoughts ran through my mind, sometimes I would write a letter - perhaps to the person I had lost. I have spent some time alone to think about how I would cope and shape my life, once I get through the transition. I have pulled out some of my old music to listen to - because some of the lyrics said words I could not put together to say. I would especially try to take care of myself during those temporary transitional periods.

So, if you are coping with (or just trying to endure) a difficult transition, I encourage you to spend some time taking care of you. Remind yourself of your good traits and good deeds. Do some other things to make you feel good about you or, for a while, do nothing. Allow yourself some time to mourn your loss, but not so much that you wallow in your sorrows. What is important is that you unburden yourself of the strain from your loss before you begin in a new direction. If needed, find someone to talk to - if not family or friends, perhaps a professional. Often a transition drains us physically, mentally, and socially.

In due time, you must find ways to refuel, recharge, and reconnect. Listen to and watch for signs of what is to come. Then use some time to think about what you would like in your life so you can develop plans to achieve it. I'm sure that in time you, too, will be ready for some nice cool, lemonade.


Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including preparing for a career change or job search, planning for retirement, coping with an empty nest, and planning to return to work or school. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist in creating solutions to transition issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Have You Declared Your Independence?

We have just celebrated Independence Day and I wonder if you have declared your independence. There are many ways in which to be independent and different ways of declaring your independence.


I attended a college graduation ceremony recently and was very surprised at how many people approached the meeting site while talking on the phone. Because I am not a kid anymore, I clearly remember the days when we did not dream of talking on the phone once we left the house. It was just not an option. But these days, people seem to think they need to talk on the phone all the time. It is not just at the ceremony, but I look at people all around - as they walk down the street, or through a store, even as they are in their cars - look at how many people are talking on the phone. Unfortunately, many of them are also driving as they are talking. In my mind, it is unbelievable that a law would have to be passed to make texting while driving illegal. Doesn't common sense tell you that the responsibility of driving a car is significant enough without multitasking? Or perhaps, that's just my thinking. I think people need to declare their independence from their telephone. Just because you have a cell phone doesn't mean you have to be on it all the time.

Additionally, some people are reluctant to make other changes in their life because of how they have always done things. They may say, "Well, I would feel funny trying that!" Or, "No, I don't know how to do that and I don't need to learn." Or perhaps you have heard, or said, "That is how we have always done it!" The way it was always done may be all well and good and, if it is still working, then fine. But to hold onto something just because it is a tradition, does not make sense to me. It is actually OK to make some changes, especially those you know are for the better or will mean an improvement in your life.


If there is a not-so-good habit you are holding on to, perhaps now is the time to declare your independence from that. Breaking long-standing habits is not easy, and sometimes we need outside help to do so, but I believe that if you set your mind to it, you can even break those habits that were started long ago. Consider what you want/need to declare your independence from and this July, start working towards a new you.



Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, coping with an empty nest or loss of job, preparing to return to school or work, or planning for retirement or non-retirement. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone assisting them to find solutions to life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services.


To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Is It Time to Check Your Progress?

If you set goals to achieve during 2011, if you have not done so lately, it may be time to check on your progress. Hopefully when you wrote your goals and objectives, you included some time lines. We are now just about half way through another year and, although I don't know about you, but for me, time is flying by. I still find it hard to believe that it will soon be July. I know that people say, the older you get, the faster time flies, and I guess they are right.





So, if you set goals for things you want to achieve this year and didn't set up time frames for your objectives, it is still not too late. Look at what you want to accomplish and figure out what it will take to do so. Hopefully, most of the steps are things you can/should do yourself. If not, consider whether or not you will have buy-in from others who may be involved in helping you reach your goals. If you have not already done so, write out the objectives you will need to do in order to meet the goals you set. Try to include, not only what you need to do, but how you may need to start, and a time for how long it should take or how soon you plan to complete the tasks.





If you included check points when you wrote out your goals and objectives, then this is just a reminder that if you have not checked your progress lately, you may need to do so now. After doing that, then you can determine if you can move your goal completion date up or if you need to allow a little more time to achieve it. Sometimes people realize that what they thought they wanted, is no longer appropriate. In that case, start over with the appropriate current goal. There is not shame in re-deciding, only in hanging on to a goal that you no longer want or need to achieve.





As some say, if you don't know where you are going, you won't know when you get there. Since time marches on anyway, you might as well plan for what you want and that should help to increase the likelihood that it will happen.





Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, coping with an empty nest or loss of job, planning for retirement or non-retirement, or preparing to return to work or school. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist them in developing solutions to their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/.





To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send and email to YOurCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Consider These Questions

If you are trying to make a change in your life, but unable to keep working at it, or even get started, I suggest you ask yourself two questions. The first is why do you want to make the change. The second question is how much do you want to make it. In many cases, the answers to these questions may seem obvious, but not always. Additionally, if you are dragging your feet on a change you say you want to make, there generally is some reason you are not at least trying to implement it.


So, for a moment, put your pride aside and really consider the change you say you want to make. The first question to ask yourself (why you want to make the change) actually should get at your motivation. Is it really something that you want or is it someone else's voice saying you "should" do it? It is hard to undertake a change in many cases, but if you are not motivated to do so, it becomes nearly impossible to achieve. If it is your own voice saying you want it, but there are disclaimers that go with it, or it is near the end of a long list of things you want, you may prefer to set it aside until it is more important to you.


In some cases, it is something you want, but not for the right reasons - it may be something you think you should want because other people want it or indicate you should want it. In those instances, you are probably not really motivated to make it happen either. Please understand, that is probably okay, but you may need to be able to convince yourself that it really is okay not to want something, even though, or just because, others do.


The second question (how badly do you want it) involves the level of commitment you currently have to making the change. Even if you are motivated to do something, if there is very little commitment, it is not likely that you will stay with it to bring it into reality. That's why we sometimes get stalled once we have gotten a project or plan underway. We run out of steam because we don't have sufficient commitment to keep us going.


So think about what are you willing to do, or willing to give up, to make the change you want? If there is not much commitment, there probably won't be much follow through. Sometimes we are better at follow through on our commitments to others than to ourselves. It may help to remember that you are as important as others and deserve the same treatment you afford to others.


Of course, sometimes it is also a matter of the change being something we want, but others don't. In those cases, others may, knowingly or not, put additional obstacles in your way that you were not able to plan for, but that derail the plans you had made. Although we frequently can anticipate potential obstacles from friends and/or loved ones, that is not always the case. Sometimes those closest to us have something to lose, or believe they do, if we make a change. Often those concerns come to light by having an open and honest discussion regarding your plans.

If the obstacles come from outside your close circle, then you need to review your situation to determine if the change you had planned can be rerouted to get around, under, over, or through the obstacle. Or is it something you need to discuss with those responsible for the obstacle(s) to see if you can get them removed. They may have knowledge with which you are not aware, but that impact your plans. They may have insights that could benefit you in re-evaluating your plans. In some instances, you may need to use or develop a Plan B.


Change is not often easy, but if it is something you want/need to do for your own well-being, it is worth considering why you have not been able to implement the change you seek.




Mary Ann Davis (M.A.) is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, planning for retirement or non-retirement, coping with a loss of job or empty nest, planning to return to work or school, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping to find solutions to problems related to life transitions. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor. Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services.


To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Be Enthusiastic

Not long ago, I heard someone say, "Enthusiasm is contagious, be a carrier!" I must admit I had not thought of it in quite those terms, but I certainly agree that enthusiasm is contagious and that is an instance where it is good to be a carrier. You have probably noticed situations where a group of people were talking and everyone was sort of low key or not engaged and when someone who was enthusiastic joined the group, everyone sort of perked up. That is an instance where the person who joined the group was a carrier - spreading enthusiasm and good feelings to others.

You have probably heard someone referred to as having an infectious smile or laugh, and generally others enjoy being around that person. It is because they are a carrier of positive vibes. I encourage you to be a positive influence on others, spreading cheer and good feelings.
Sharing a smile costs you nothing and can certainly brighten someone else's day. You never know when your smile can make all the difference in someone else's day - whether it is a person you know or not.

Also, it is harder to feel down and out yourself if you are smiling. Sometimes on those days when you are feeling out of sorts and would rather not smile, instead of giving in to those feelings, pretend that you are happy and feeling fine. It frequently can do wonders for your mental health, as well as your physical well being. I don't remember who said it, but someone said, "Fake it til you make it." That applies to changes you are trying to make as well as your day-to-day existence. Even when you aren't feeling up, fake it, and pretend that you do.

Undoubtedly, you have also noticed the opposite effect, and it doesn't even have to have been a group of people. If you are talking with a person who is sort of down, or maybe just not their usual self, it sort of makes you feel down, as well. Negativity and mediocrity are also contagious and I caution you not to be a carrier of those feelings. This applies to everyday interactions with others, as well as meetings and discussions that have some importance, such as networking discussions or employment interviews.

Perhaps each day you can decide that it is going to be a good day - sometimes even a great day - and put a smile on your face that you can share with others all day long. Be a carrier of enthusiasm!

Mary Ann Davis (M.A.) is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, planning for retirement or non-retirement, coping with an empty nest, loss of job, planning to return to school or work, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping them to find solutions to issues related to their transition. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association; a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association; and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor. Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Mary Ann Davis, M. A. is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, planning for retirement or non-retirement, returning to work or to school, and other life transitions. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping to find solutions to issues related to life planning. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association; a Life/work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association; and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/.









To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to mailto:YourCcareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Are You Creating Balance In Your Life? (part 2)

In the last post we started this discussion on ways to create balance in your life. Another suggestion is to set goals for what you plan to accomplish each day - or at least for the week. But as you are creating those goals, make sure they are reasonable and doable. Plan to accomplish the most important things first, then if there is still time, you can work on the next tier of tasks that are not as important to you. You may also need to recognize what tasks must be completed with great care and attention so that you can create the appropriate circumstances in which to accomplish them with the least amount of interference or interruptions.


The suggestions included in the series of posts on Your Life Wheel can also be beneficial in this situation. Additionally, writing can be a very effective way to relieve stress. Writing in a journal, for example, can help you to get things off your chest in a way that is not threatening to others. It can help you plan for your dreams or just to slow down for a bit. Writing a letter to someone who has upset or disappointed you can also be helpful. The idea here is that you write out what you would like to say to that person but don't share it. Sleep on it for a day or two, then re-read it. That gives you some time to decide if the message was something that you needed to say or something they really need to hear. If you feel they still need to hear it, you have the opportunity to review it and make changes to send the message you truly want to share.

On the home front, if it seems you are 'doing everything', you should still be able to set priorities. If you live alone, decide what really needs to be done and how often. You may have to decide what you can 'stand' in order to give yourself a little more peace and quiet. In other words, if you are not able or willing to do it all yourself, do you just want to let it slide, hire someone to do some of those tasks, or find time to do what really needs to be done. If there are others in the home who could handle some of those responsibilities, have an open discussion with them and determine who will take on what.

Of course, as a counselor, I must also suggest that if you find you are not able to cope with things or to make some changes to make your life more manageable, I encourage you to seek outside help. Counselors and other helping professionals are available to talk and to help you find ways to adjust things to cope with your situation. You may want to see if your employer offers any type of assistance program for its employees or refer to one of the national or state organisations, such as the American Counseling Association or the Ohio Counseling Association for suggestions on possible helping professionals.

Mary Ann Davis (MA) is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, planning for retirement, loss of job, coping with an empty nest, preparing to return to work or school, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping to find solutions to problems related to life transitions. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Are You Creating Balance in Your Life?

Sometimes in an effort to create a balance between our work lives and our home lives, we add more to the 'home' side of the equation. Often what that means is that we are now overworked in both arenas. That is generally not the goal of finding balance. If you find yourself in this situation, you probably also recognize that the level of stress in your life is also increasing.

Suggesting for helping to balance your work and home lives can be found from a number of resources, but let me make a few suggestions here. One thing to look at is the actual number of hours you spend in 'work related' activity. I have talked to people who calculate they have been spending over 50 hours a week at work. Unless you are actually counting lunch time and daily breaks in that calculation, you are probably at work longer than you thought. That doesn't include any time that you spend at home doing work-related activities, including checking emails, thinking about what's on your agenda for the next day, or what you didn't get done today, etc. That also doesn't include travel or settling in time at work.

You also want to look at what you stress over that is beyond your control. If you have no say in the matter or influence on the outcome, it is probably not productive to spend time thinking/worrying about it. That applies to work and home situations. I do recognize that may be easier said than done, but is well worth the effort to try.

Also, if you are constantly in 'fast forward' mode, it would be good to find ways to shift back. Not only should you include breaks in your activity, you should also plan in some non-productive times - when you don't plan to do anything and you don't do anything, except maybe listen to some soothing music, meditate, etc.

At home, also look at your schedule. If it is filled with running here or there, playing chauffeur for your kids many activities, or always working on some home project, consider what is really important and what really needs to be done by you. It may be that some of that flurry of activity is just "busy ness" and no longer important or meaningful. We will look further at the issue of balance in the next post.


Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change and/or job search, planning for retirement, loss of job, coping with an empty nest, preparing to return to work or school, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping to find solutions to problems related to life transitions. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

You Can Re-decide

Sometimes we stop, or are stopped, and look back over our lives and consider decisions we have made, directions we have gone. If you are fortunate, you are pleased with your decisions and their outcomes and satisfied with the direction your life has gone. If you are like many others, there are points where you made a decision that turned out not to be a wise one and it sent you off onto a dimly lit, unfamiliar path. If that applies to you, what I would encourage you to do is to re-decide; admit you made a poor choice and start again.

Often, we allow our thoughts and internal messages to control our actions. We dredge up thoughts like, "My father always said I wouldn't amount to anything." or "What were you thinking, you knew you're too old to do ____?!" Or maybe, "But people would think I've lost my mind if I ______." or "Mama warned me not to _______ but I wouldn't listen..." It is so easy to say to yourself, "I should have done ____, but now it is too late." It may be hard to do, but try to shut out those messages and focus on what is in your heart. Try asking yourself, "Is it really too late?"

Of course, in some cases, yes it may be too late, just don't assume that it is without considering the possibilities. But if it is something you still want, try to get clear on the real situation before you decide that. Listen to what your heart is saying and figure out how to make that happen. It may involve giving yourself permission to admit you were wrong. It may require you to take a few steps back and restructure your plan - or scrap it entirely and start over with a fresh approach to reach your goal. But it is important to remember that as long as you are still breathing, you have the capacity to decide differently and change your mind and your plans. You just need to give yourself permission to re-decide. Then if people question you, or just look at you like you may have lost your mind, you can simply look them in the eye and say, "Yeah, I really am going to try it this way!" But you will know that you are simply listening to your heart and that can be a very good thing, indeed!

Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change or job search, planning for retirement, loss of job, coping with an empty nest, preparing to return to work or school, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping them to find solutions to problems related to life transitions. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Be Kind to Yourself

When you are preparing for or coping with transitions in life, I caution you to be kind to yourself. So many times in the midst of turmoil or frustration we are harder on ourselves than anyone else would be. I caution you to be kind to yourself. I think this means you should only move forward as fast (or as slowly) as any part of you is able to move. Just because your mind is ready to take a leap, it doesn't mean your heart is ready for that kind of change. You must listen to your mind and your heart and your spirit as you plan changes for your life.

I think you should monitor your self talk - don't beat yourself up because things move more slowly than you had planned or because you get stuck part way through a transition. Also, try not to nag yourself if you are moving more slowly than you had hoped. The other thing I share with my clients is that sometimes what we think of as self-talk are actually tapes of others who criticized us earlier in life. If you find that you are being very critical of yourself, pay attention to whose voice you are hearing. It may be a remnant from your past that you are now able to put aside to listen to your true inner voice. Changes are difficult, whether they are voluntary or involuntary, so it is important to try to handle it as best you can, and know that you are doing what you need to do to take care of you.

If part of you is still feeling reluctant to make the change you had decided to make, consider why the hesitation. Is there something you have overlooked? Are the parameters of the decision somehow different than you thought they would be? Are other factors at play that were not known before? As things become clearer, or begin to fall into place, you will likely feel more comfortable and perhaps be able to move at a faster pace, but until you are OK with it, take care of and be kind to yourself. Realize that your hesitancy may well be founded in some truth you are not yet aware of.


Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change or job search, planning for retirement, loss of job, coping with an empty nest, preparing to return to work or school, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping to solve problems related to life transitions. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

World Laughter Day

According to the Heart Health ezine, Sunday, May 1, 2011 is World Laughter Day. Now that is a day I can celebrate and encourage you to, as well! I am one of those people who love to laugh and make every effort to do so each and every day. Some days I have to seek out people who make me laugh because, on my own, it's not a day I have laughed. And I know just who to call on when I am in need of a laugh.

I also have a number of people who regularly send me emails that make me laugh, or at least chuckle, so I look forward to receiving those messages, and do admit to sharing them with others in my network. In addition to people I can call on, I have videos of movies or TV shows that make me laugh. So I might sit back, relax, and enjoy a good laugh with some of those favorites. I also have a collection of books in which I can forget my worries, at least for a while, and laugh at, or with, the characters. Because I love music, I also have some CDs I have put together with only upbeat songs. When my spirits need a lift, or when I just want to keep feeling good, I can put on some music and sing my heart out.

Sort of on the opposite end of the spectrum, I also know of some people that I try to avoid in those moments when I desperately need to laugh. Some people are just not as positive as others and some days their negative attitude/approach to life could be a bit more than I can handle. So its important to know who helps to bring laughter into your life. Laughing is, indeed, very good medicine and should be taken on a regular basis. Make sure you laugh on Sunday, World Laughter Day, and as many other days as you can.

Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change, job search, planning for retirement, returning to work or school, non-retirement planning, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor (L/WC) by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). She meets with individuals in person and via telephone. Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

National Volunteer Week

This year, the week of April 10 has been designated as National Volunteer Week. It is a time when we thank all the folks who have contributed time, energy, money, items, etc. to be of help to others. In that regard, I would like to add my thanks to those who do volunteer; whether it is organized through a community agency or church, or just a kind deed for someone in your neighborhood, church, or school, etc. Giving of yourself to benefit others is to be commended. In addition to the assistance, support or encouragement volunteers provide for those whom they serve, the volunteer typically receives some sense of satisfaction or fulfillment as well. That is why volunteering is one of the great ways to meet some of your own personal needs. It may provide opportunities to address values that are not satisfied in other aspects of your life. It may provide opportunities to gain a sense of accomplishment that are not found in other parts of your life. If you are interested in volunteering and aren't sure where to start, you can certainly consider if there are organizations, etc. in your community where you would like to serve and see if they need assistance in some area. You can also check with organizations such as United Way or Volunteers of America for ways in which you can contribute. You can also do a live search on line for organizations or institutions, etc. But by honing some additional skills and developing some contacts, volunteering can also be a great way to meet some career-related needs, as well. That is particularly helpful for those who plan to change to a different career and need a little more experience in that new field. So, if you are planning to make a career or job change and could benefit from additional or more current experience in your chosen field, consider volunteering as a way to accomplish that. Who knows, while you are doing something for you, you could be doing something valuable for someone else, as well. Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, retirement planning, returning to work or to school, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone. Ms. Davis is certified as a Master Career Counselor by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

What About My Life, Do I Love?

So, think about it, what parts of your life, the way it is right now, do you love? If you are like some people I have talked to recently, the initial response is "Very little". If, after some consideration, that is still your response, perhaps it is time to look at what you can or should do differently.


In recent posts, I have written about your life wheel and its various spokes. If you have read those, perhaps you have already begun to identify which of your spokes needs some adjusting. If not, you may wish to go back and read those posts. Once you have identified the spokes that are lacking, or out of balance, you may want to begin thinking about what is actually wrong or missing from that part of your life. For example, if it is the Physical aspect, perhaps you actually need to get off the couch and start that exercise regimen you had talked about or remove some of the tempting sweets from your kitchen cabinets. Perhaps you need to reconnect with your spirituality or find ways to add joy to your life. Only you can determine which part(s) of your life wheel need some improvement(s).


Then you would begin to determine what you could or should be doing differently to make that part of your life more to your liking. The more details you can add to that plan, the better. Your plan should include not only the how, but the when you will do whatever steps you develop. Try to be specific in both pieces - the more details you can include, the more likely you will know how to proceed and will recognize when you have attained what you were seeking. Does your plan require the input or cooperation of someone else in order to succeed? If so, also figure out how you can most likely get their 'buy in'. Or consider if there is a way to succeed without their involvement, if necessary.


Also, try to use words or phrases that can be quantified in some way. Indicating that you want to be 'happy' is hard to measure. However, indicating that you need to laugh, at least once each day, that is measurable. Some people find that it helps to make signs regarding their new plan and post them around the house - in plain sight. That way they are reminded of their goals frequently. Some people just write them in their appointment book or journal so when they look at what they have planned for the day, or did for the day, they can determine if they are moving in the right direction or need to work at it a bit more. There is at least one song with lyrics - 'you've only got one life to live..." I encourage you to make the most of what you have.





Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, planning for retirement, coping with a job loss, planning to re-enter the work force or college, non-retirement planning, and other life transitions. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone. Ms. Davis is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor (L/WC) by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/.



To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Your Life Wheel (part 4)

Although I have talked about each spoke on your life wheel independently, there are many activities that help you tend to more than one spoke at a time. Volunteer activities, for example, could help fill an occupational interest, but certainly could also address social, emotional, intellectual, physical, and/or spiritual concerns. Volunteering could be formal, as in working through an agency/organization or could be informal such as assisting a neighbor or someone in your church, family, school, etc. Journaling is another example of an activity that can fill multiple needs or interests. One other piece that I have not addressed directly is making time to play. Laughing and having fun can also have an immediate impact, potentially, on all six spokes of your life wheel. I believe that life is too short to spend it so seriously all the time. No matter what your age, you still need to have some fun and play. It could be sports, but it shouldn't be highly competitive, as that tends to take the fun out of it. It could be reading or watching something funny, talking to an upbeat friend, even writing about some fun times you've had will likely bring a smile to your face. Smiling and laughing can have an almost immediate impact on our feelings and emotional well-being. Being positive, keeping positive thoughts instead of dwelling on negative things, also add to your mental and physical health. It is important that you take care of you and do what you can to keep your life wheel in good shape. Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including job search or career change, retirement planning, coping with loss of job, planning to return to work or college, non-retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She meets individuals in person and via telephone. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor (L/WC) by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Your Life Wheel (part 3)

I have touched upon five of the six spokes on your life wheel and this post will address the occupational side of your wheel. For many people, the occupational spoke on their life wheel is, by far, the largest. Obviously, this encompasses your work and your career plans. For some, it is such a large part of their lives that there is no room to fill the other spokes, and that is not good for your overall well being. Although we pay a lot of attention to this spoke when we launch or are thrown into a job search, often we don't tend to this spoke otherwise. But I encourage you, if you have not already done so, to spend some time thinking about your work and your career plans. Do they fit together well, just somewhat, or not at all? How do your career plans fit in with your life goals and plans? If you don't have life goals and plans, that would be a good place to start. Think about what you want to accomplish/contribute to this world and develop plans to help you get there. I believe your goals and at least the basics of your plans should be written down somewhere. It seems to me that goals not written down (or recorded somewhere) are basically just dreams and it is hard to make a dream into a reality without some specific plans. So identify where you are and where you want to be, occupationally, and by when. If you don't know what your dreams or plans are, at this stage in life, you may want to spend some time thinking about that. I find that without any plans, or goals to work towards, days just seem to be less meaningful. Sort of on the other end of the spectrum are those folks who have retired and are at a loss because their occupational spoke is so small. That group also includes those who are not looking forward to retirement because work is such a major part of their lives. In my opinion, that is also not good for your overall well being. The key is to not to let work take over your entire life while you are working, so that you have time for other interests and activities to enjoy, not only while you are working, but certainly after you have quit working or reduce your work load. Look for the final post regarding your life wheel in the coming days. Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change and job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, non-retirement planning, and other life planning issues. She is certified a a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Mary Ann meets with individuals in person and at a distance via telephone. Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Your Life Wheel (part 2)

Not long ago, I posted part one of this topic. If you have not read it, you may wish to go back to January's entries and do so. Your life wheel is something that you should try to keep in balance, no matter what stage of life you are in. In today's typically hectic world, it can be more challenging to take care of yourself, but it is even more important to do so. In addition to the physical, spiritual, and social spokes I've already addressed, you should also attend to the emotional, intellectual, and occupational aspects of your life. Times of transition, like changes to your living arrangements, job changes, even changes to your routine, can add to your level of stress. As much as possible, you should attend to all six spokes on your life wheel on a regular basis to help keep it rolling smoothly. Some bumps in the road are probably unavoidable, while others are not. Maintaining your life wheel can help to smooth out your ride. The emotional spoke on the wheel encompasses your feelings, i.e. your emotions. That spoke may be the more obvious one to others. When the emotional spoke on your life wheel is out of balance, you may feel sad, blue, depressed, angry, or just plain out of sorts. If that is your situation, I encourage you to find ways to add joy to your life. That joy may come from involvement with family or friends, or maybe from inside you because of your contributions to community or others. Although frustration or agitation may come from living in today's world, yours should not be at a level that is visible to others, on a regular basis. It is important to pay attention to your feelings, particularly during times of transition, because they provide clues as to how well you are coping. Your emotions are signals about what you are feeling or experiencing. Some people find that writing about those feelings help 'get them off their chest', so to speak. Developing a plan for how you will cope with your transition can also take away some of the sting caused by uncertainty. Other times you may need a more active way of working through your feelings, for example, talking things out with someone else or some type of physical activity. When I was going through a particularly difficult time, I found that even punching a pillow helped relieve some of the tension. Talking it out, getting a hug, and/or laughing are also ways to help cope with some of your emotional bumps. The intellectual spoke on your wheel also need to be attended to on a regular basis. It doesn't matter whether you are working outside the home or from home or in the home, or what your work situation is, your mind still needs stimulation. Working jigsaw or crossword puzzles is one way to keep your mind active, as is learning something new, reading, etc. It can also be stimulated by writing or participating in other creative activities. Researching your family's genealogical history is another activity many people have found interesting and helpful. Writing in a journal can help not only your intellectual, but also the emotional spoke on your life wheel. The occupational spoke will be addressed in the next post. Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career and job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, non-retirement planning, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services. To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.