Be Patient With Yourself

When I was younger, the choir used to sing a song that included the phrase, "Please be patient with me, God is not through with me yet." I have thought of that song often when other people don't seem to understand what I am trying to say or to do. But today, I want to remind you that those words apply, not only to others, but to yourself as well. We sometimes forget to be patient with ourselves - particularly through times of change. We might think, "Well, this is a change I decided upon, so I should not be struggling with it." I encourage you to keep in mind that change, even those changes undertaken happily and/or voluntarily, can cause mixed or even negative feelings.

Change is change, and that means doing/having something different in our lives. For most of us, that requires a period of adjustment. We may find that we are experiencing unexpected emotions in conjunction with a new relationship, a promotion, a new job, a new boss, retirement - even retirement from a job we disliked. It is often because of the change associated with the new situation that we have mixed emotions, or feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, etc.

So, in times of change, I encourage you to be patient with yourself. Don't expect that you will feel all roses and sunshine, even when it is seen as a positive change that you wanted. Allow yourself some time to adjust to the new and different circumstances/situation. I would also encourage you to keep that in mind when a loved one or close friend is coping with a change. Allow them some time to adjust.

Something new and different can be fun and exciting, but it can also be scary or unsettling. I believe that the more plans you can make for your change the less anxiety will accompany it, but that may also depend on other circumstances, which I will discuss in the next post.


Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, coping with a job loss, preparing for a return to work or to school, or planning for retirement or non-retirement. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist them in planning and preparing for changes. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor. For more information on her services, please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com. To contact Mary Ann, please call 513.665.4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.