Returning to School

If you are one of the many adults returning to school, or entering college for the first time, it is important that you get off to a good start. If you have been away from education for some time, it can also be a pretty scary proposition. There are three suggestions I share with my clients who have decided to continue their education: manage the process, manage your time, and manage your life. Of course, all of that is easier said than done.


By managing the process, I refer to learning and strengthening the skills needed for academic success. I have talked with hundreds of adults returning to learning and the majority indicate there is at least one subject area in which they feel rusty. For many it is math, but others identify reading or writing - all of those are fundamental to your academic success. There is no shame in getting help so that you can be a successful student and if you could benefit from a tutor or other assistance, you should not be embarrassed to ask for it. It may take a while to knock off the rust, but it can be done. Other suggestions include sitting near the front of the class and if you are not comfortable asking a question in class, you should find a way to contact the professor to ask it out of class. Obviously, you need to have all the books and other supplies needed for each class and read assignments ahead of time, even if you don't completely understand what you are reading.


Time management can be a big issue for adult learners. Most of us have so many demands on our time that we often put other people and/or other concerns before our own. If you have decided to return to school, you probably need to focus on your needs as well. We generally tell students they should plan for 2 to 3 hours of study for every hour they are in class, every week. So being a full-time student is a full time job and not everyone calculates that kind of time commitment when they first get back to school. Of course, some subjects may require a little (or a lot) more time and you may find that you have a class that doesn't require quite that much, but that is the general rule. Many people benefit from making a weekly schedule to include study time, so that a week doesn't go by without them opening a book.


Also, in order to be a successful student, and adult, you also need to manage your life - the other responsibilities you have in life, as well as taking care of you. It may mean that you cut back on your social activities until you see how well you can juggle all of your responsibilities. It may mean that you need to reduce your time for exercise or other outside activities. But, you will notice I didn't suggest you cut them out completely. If there are activities you do to keep you well and mentally, as well as physically, in shape, I don't think you should eliminate them entirely. Find ways to work some of that in to your schedule. It may mean that you need to delegate some of your household responsibilities to someone else, or maybe you cut back on some of that, as well.


It can be difficult to continue your education as a fully grown adult, but it can be very beneficial.

Mary Ann Davis, M.A. is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, preparing to return to work or to school, coping with job loss, planning for non-retirement, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone helping find solutions to life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her website at www.YourCareerPlan.com.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice offering coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a job or career change, preparing to return to school or to work, coping with job loss, preparing for non-retirement, and other life transitions. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist in creating solutions to life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Career Development Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor. Please visit her website at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/ for more information on her services.





To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Become or Get Active

If you are retired, or even semi-retired, it is important that you maintain a level of activity. If you have not continued to be active (or never were), I encourage you to find ways to get active. It is important that you are active - physically and mentally. There are days when I wake up and don't really feel like getting up and certainly don't feel like moving, but those are the days when it is extra important for me to do so. There are days when it could be so easy to lay around much of the day, doing very little. But those are the days when I must encourage myself to move - even if not at full speed. Often when I take a walk anyway, I find that once I get going, I feel better than I thought I did. So, since it is important to keep moving, do what you need to do to keep at it. The body seems to be a lot like the brain and math - if you don't use it, you lose it.

And that brings up the other part of the keep moving - your brain. Not only with math, do you lose the ability to handle it, once you stop, other tasks become more difficult if you don't regularly exercise your brain. Find ways to keep your brain active that are things you at least somewhat enjoy doing. Working jigsaw puzzles or word puzzles are a good exercise for your brain. Playing cards and other kinds of games can keep your mind stimulated. Putting something together and other kinds of creative activities are also good for the brain. Reading and writing are also good ways to use your brain. Learning something new is a very good way to keep the brain fully functioning. It does not even have to be through a class, although that is a good activity. Many colleges offer classes at a reduced rate for senior citizens or have non-credit bearing courses that may be of interest to you. It may not be too late to sign up for a course for this fall.

Don't let your muscles get too relaxed and unstimulated. To maintain or achieve better health, keep or get active!


Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career or job change, planning for non-retirement, coping with job loss, preparing to return to work or school, and other life planning issues. She meets with individuals in-person and at a distance to help them develop solutions to life transition issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Coping With Your Transitions (part 4)

Transitions affect different people in different ways. Some folks willingly throw themselves into a transition, while others seem to have transitions thrust upon them. Letting go of a particular situation can be difficult, and that typically at least causes us to feel some sense of loss, which may, or may not, be accompanied by a sense of relief or excitement about what is to come.


Long ago, in other civilizations, there were some public ceremonies to designate specific transitions. We don't have very many of those 'rites of passage' these days. Each of us must figure out how best to cope with our transitions. Some of that may be learned from how we have adjusted to endings and beginnings in our past. It may help to spend some time trying to remember how you have responded to transitions previously. You can start just by thinking about how you approach saying goodbye after visiting family or friends. Do you make it a long, emotional scene, or do you go out with barely saying goodbye?


You may also want to think about more recent changes in your life. What kinds of events brought about those changes? If you have not dealt with previous transitions well, you can probably change your routine by uncovering your typical response to change. Then it is possible to learn a different coping style that may be more favorable for you.


Transitions in life are a part of life and those that happen in one phase or aspect of our lives often impact the other aspects of our lives, as well as the lives of others around us. These changes can have a cumulative negative effect on us, not only physically, but also socially and mentally. And that applies not only to those changes that effect us directly, but also those that effect us indirectly because of changes others are going through.


Coping with your transitions in life is a survival skill and the better you get at it, the better your life will be. For transitions will continue as long as you continue to live. With some effort, we can be better prepared for how we will respond to future transitions.




Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a job or career change, planning for retirement, coping with an empty nest, preparing to return to school or to work, coping with the loss of job, or other life planning concerns. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist them in finding solutions to their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Coping With Your Transitions (part 3)

We have talked briefly about new beginnings and endings, but the third part of a transition is the neutral zone, although they do not generally occur in that order. This should occur between the ending and the new beginning to allow time, not only to adjust to what is to come, but to gain a sense of renewal and, hopefully, increased awareness.


For many people, the neutral zone is the most uncomfortable part of a transition - it is a time when you may have a desire to get away and to stop your day-to-day routines. It may feel like a time of grayness - things are not yet seen as black or white. Although the neutral zone may be entered before you have really ended something, it may come with the new situation, or it may stretch out before you like an endless desert as you know not what you seek, but are looking for something different.


During our time in the neutral zone, we should give ourselves the opportunity to see things differently and to get reoriented toward our new direction. It can also help us to get "past" our past. We are very likely to view our lives differently from this different perspective; as though we have stepped out of ourselves to see how we were before we try to recreate ourselves.


So the neutral zone is a good time to write your life's story - filling in the realities of what has happened, but writing the future as you want it to be. It may be best to spend some of your time in the neutral zone alone, when you are truly by yourself and can be alone with your thoughts. This requires you to be removed from your usual distractions, but in a place where you are safe.


You may also want to spend some time thinking (and perhaps writing) about what would be unlived if your life ended today. To think about what things you had really wanted to do that you haven't. What had you wanted to accomplish? Then you can decide if those things are still worth doing in this next stage of your life, as you design your new beginning.



Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, preparing for retirement, coping with an empty nest or loss of job, planning to return to school or to work. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist them in finding solutions to their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.

Coping With Your Transitions (part 2)

Many of our transitions in life seem to be initiated by an ending of some sort. Certainly a divorce usually send us into a transition, as well as your first or last child going to school or to college. Transitions may result from moving to another city or changing jobs. We also must cope with the endings of phases of our life because of maturation or aging. So for some folks, they begin a significant transition when they graduate from high school and/or college. Of course there's that mid life transition - now somewhere between 30s and late 40s. These events or stages typically represent the ending of one phase and entering a new phase in life.

We may expect difficulties coping with divorce and some other events that are viewed as negative. But we are sometimes thrown by what seems like a positive thing that causes negative feelings, such as a promotion. The new job title, money and other perks sound great, but you maybe had not planned on missing the old job and former co-workers as much as you do. When you are the person who wants the divorce and you have thought about it long and hard before proceeding, you may be surprised at how many sad feelings accompany that event.

Endings can seem like they will be easier to adjust to than they sometimes are and often we do not take endings seriously enough, especially when we are looking forward to the new beginning we have launched. But many of our endings start because something has gone wrong. Other times we may be reluctant to admit we are struggling with a transition that is the result of something "good" happening to us. That may seem to imply we have made a "bad" choice or do not appreciate our "good fortune".

But whether the ending was something you consciously chose or not, it is most helpful to recognize what is ending and appreciate that or work through those accompanying difficulties before proceeding. It is difficult to have a clean "new beginning" if you are still holding on to the previous situation that is now ending.

Many people experience a period of time sort of in a neutral zone before they really can begin something new. We'll talk about that neutral zone in the next post, but for the endings in your life, it is important to pay attention to your internal messaging system and your feelings. It may be that you need to be sure to pay particular attention to your self before and during the transition. You may benefit from writing in a transition journal. If you are feeling uncomfortable, recognize that as a likely sign of change and take some time to allow for adjustment - especially internally. If you have not already done so, look for what you have learned from the situation that is ending and how that may help you in your next situation. Of course, if you find it difficult to cope with the ending, please find someone to talk to.

Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist them in finding solutions to their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor. Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential voice message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.