Coping With Your Transitions (part 3)

We have talked briefly about new beginnings and endings, but the third part of a transition is the neutral zone, although they do not generally occur in that order. This should occur between the ending and the new beginning to allow time, not only to adjust to what is to come, but to gain a sense of renewal and, hopefully, increased awareness.


For many people, the neutral zone is the most uncomfortable part of a transition - it is a time when you may have a desire to get away and to stop your day-to-day routines. It may feel like a time of grayness - things are not yet seen as black or white. Although the neutral zone may be entered before you have really ended something, it may come with the new situation, or it may stretch out before you like an endless desert as you know not what you seek, but are looking for something different.


During our time in the neutral zone, we should give ourselves the opportunity to see things differently and to get reoriented toward our new direction. It can also help us to get "past" our past. We are very likely to view our lives differently from this different perspective; as though we have stepped out of ourselves to see how we were before we try to recreate ourselves.


So the neutral zone is a good time to write your life's story - filling in the realities of what has happened, but writing the future as you want it to be. It may be best to spend some of your time in the neutral zone alone, when you are truly by yourself and can be alone with your thoughts. This requires you to be removed from your usual distractions, but in a place where you are safe.


You may also want to spend some time thinking (and perhaps writing) about what would be unlived if your life ended today. To think about what things you had really wanted to do that you haven't. What had you wanted to accomplish? Then you can decide if those things are still worth doing in this next stage of your life, as you design your new beginning.



Mary Ann Davis, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including a career change or job search, preparing for retirement, coping with an empty nest or loss of job, planning to return to school or to work. She meets with individuals in person and via telephone to assist them in finding solutions to their life planning issues. Mary Ann is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association, a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association, and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). For more information on her services, please visit her web site at http://www.yourcareerplan.com/.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.